I'm a 38 year old psychologist living in Nashville, Tennessee. Until shortly over a year ago, I hosted a radio/tv talk show. At the moment, I'm amid plans to start a new one called, " One Man's Opinion". It's a radio show FOR women, ABOUT men, BY a man.
Seeing that alot of issues are age-related, please state your age when posing a question.
E-mail: cmclinphd@hotmail.com
Gender: Male
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Occupation: Psychologist
Age: 38
Member Since: November 30, 2003
Answers: 349
Last Update: September 15, 2009
Visitors: 29154
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"Actually, I think he DOES like you. I just think you're both the victims of poor timing AND planning. You say he was " icy and cold ". Could it be that hje may have been uncomfortable because he IS in a relationship at the moment, and now having something else to deal with makes him feel that way. He says he's afraid, which could mean that he sees the possibility of something happening between the two if you as a reality and THAT makes him afraid. I'm wondering why you had your friend tell him that you're crushing on him when you KNOW he has a girlfriend. How do YOU really feel? You say HE may find it no longer fun when you "surrender" but could it be that your crush is not as intense if HE'S not with someone? I'm not accusing, I'm just suggesting you look at it from a different point of view. You also said that he's known this before. What happened? Why didn't you two make a go of it then? That has alot to do with where you are now. Answer that, and your new question will be answered. Regardless though, to be fair, why don't you wait until he's single again before you bring up questions or infer about the two if you. Good luck."-You
Well, see, he was OUT of the relationship when my friend was supposed to tell him. I heard after school that they had gotten back together that day.
Okay, in fourth grade, he had a girlfriend most of the year. I always waited on him, seeing if he'd make a move on me. He never really did. See he went out with my SISTER (who is in my grade--she went to Developmental first) in 5th and 6th grade. That was what made me really mad...I'd thought he'd known once before, so I thought he just made it apparent that he didn't care. I still secretly liked him until 7th grade, where we had most classes together. This is when we got REALLY close (I sat next to him in almost all the hours I had with him) to hooking up. Then my friend revealed to me that she really liked him. She said since I knew him best, that she wanted me to hook her up. I didn't want to be selfish, so I did because I love them both-they are my friends. She also told me that she thought my crush and I had gone out before...she said it really seemed that way. Everyone kind of thought we were together. We flirted alot, I ate lunch with him everyday (well actually a group of people). Well, I just thought him and the girl I hooked him up with would be another relationship I'd have to wait on. Now I'm in less classes with said crush, (only two...last year 5) and the girl...well we barely ever talk to each other anymore.
That's why I said I THOUGHT he was single. The girl has broken up with him at least 3 times in the past week, saying 'She's sick of him' (she told my sister, they have classes together). But she always goes back out with him.
And last year, it seemed that if we were together, it was a competition to see who could be the wittiest (aka sarcastic, or who could crack jokes on the other person). Plus once he had broken up with the girl I hooked him up with, and he asked me to the movies, and said he just wanted to make out with me (although he was joking). It really pissed me off. Plus it doesn't help that I don't think I'm good enough for him (not popular, not perfect looks or body, etc.).
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I REALLY appreciate your clearing some things up. It's hard fopr me to give an opinion when I only know a few of the facts, so thank you. You know, Shakespeare said, "Many a truth is said in jest". He may have SAID he was joking about making out with you, but I'd almost bet that it was AFTER he saw how pissed you got because of it. Anyway, that and the fact that he breaks up with his girl on a regular basis tells me that he may not be the type to make a serious commitment. So, I would wonder why you feel you're not good enough for him. Sounds like he may not be good enough for YOU. You obviously have feelings that have lasted, didn't go anywhere, and you were even willing to put your own happiness aside to afford him the opportunity to be happy with someone else. You don't find that kind of selfless caring too much anymore these days. If he didn't jump on that, then he's either too immature to realize what's before him, or just a fool. Put it on the table, go up to him, YOU tell him how you feel, and see what his response is. Don't accept his skating around the topic with, " Well, I like you alot" Or, "you're cool" or some garbage like that. Get him to tell you if he sees any chance of a relationship. The answer you get may not be the one you want, or it may. But in any case, you'll know for sure. And if it's not the one you want, then you'll be free finally, to share yourself with someone who truly knows how rare someone like you is.
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Rating: 5
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I finally got to rate all this! Thanks so much!
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