about

Hey, everyone! My real name used to be Kristina, but I had it changed recently to...something much more complicated. I have 4 names now, 3 first names. I have been going by Bells, D, Ly (pronounced Lie), Strats, and Azariel recently. Lysistrata or Lysis work, too. If you prefer to be all proper, call me Belladonna. I'm really fine with anything you decide to call me. I'm California born, bred, and raised, but I'm 100% (or at least as close as you can get to 100%) Romanian. I look like a vampire, as most say, because of having very pale skin and dark brown hair. If there's anything else you want to know, e-mail me at chocoholic95624@aim.com. Feel free to add me to aim, yahoo, or msn! I know what it's like to need someone to talk to immediately. You would probably have more luck with my aim accounts, because I hardly ever go on msn or yahoo.

Here are a few SN's that I have.

WTF Whiskey
Martiniminion
DancingDaiquiri
SparklingSees
GoodnessGodiva
bloodlust1327
Nacho Face Love
peach and lime27
renastarr27
Vindicated Vodka
NeuroticNymph727
and
Chocoholic95624 (my primary)

So, if you would like to chat about anything, even if its random and you just need someone to talk to, please add me. =D


Ohkay. Well, I'm not sure if I should add anything more about myself, but I will anyways, just in case.

I have always been semi-depressed. At least. I started trying to kill myself when I was 9 years old, just after my mum sent me to a shrink for the first time, because I had threatened to hurt myself over 4 times in the past week.

I kept finding different ways to inflict self-torture, until year later, less than 3 years ago, I realized that I could not continue like that any longer.

A girl, she was like my own sister, even though she was so young, wrote a poem for me, which changed my outlook on life completely. As of that day, I have been talking through my depression.


"if you give me your hand
I'll support you when you fall
if you refuse to let me
baby, you'll just have to crawl
the bigger the dose
the lesser your life
the smaller the number
the better you'll fly
spread your wings and soar
all through the air
you can live without worries
live without a care
remember when we were little?
things were so perfect then
the biggest weight we had
was to remember how to count to ten
then it was a small number
right now it's huge
if you count it in
the number of pills you use
pills always seemed so useful
when in fact they're quite bad
the only thing they're doing
is making me mad
so you act just to spite?
how much sense does that make?
the angrier I get
depends on how much you take
I can't make you any promises
as I may act out of fear
or else I'll just sit here
drowning in my tears
these are the things
real girls worry about
it's something horrible
without a doubt.
I want you to remember me
not as the girl who was always scared
no, there's something I'd rather it be
the girl who cared.

i made you a promise
that I'd never tell
but I'll have to blab
to save you from this hell"

I'll love her, always and forever. Even if she is a little bitch sometimes. =D

So, now, I am a lot happier. I control my life. And I try to help others with their own. I have been through a lot more than explained here, but I feel it is not an appropriate time to share all of that. Basically, what I'm saying is that, if you need help or anything at all, I'll try my hardest to work it out.

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