Gender: Male
Location: Michigan
Occupation: Student
Age: 19
AIM: Digitalleech
Member Since: February 17, 2005
Answers: 43
Last Update: March 11, 2005
Visitors: 3072
Favorite Columnists
Here2HelpU
|
| |
ok my sister is a real big hoe!shes only 13 n she has herpes and all once she even asked me if it was possible to get fingered while standing up i was all i dont kno you whore why did you and she was all noooooo i mean well i dont kno he kinda put his hands down my pants n stuck not one but two fingers up my you kno what and she always brags about being a whore because people never paid attention to her before so once i was all your a hoe you even have herpes an she was like i kno now everyone in my school has it because of me! all happy about it and what not and i feel really bad for her because people only like her for her slutty ass. and she wants to have sex with her bf because her bf's ex had sex with him so now she wants to feel even what should i do that whore needs to be controlled signed dont wanna get herpes and be the person people point to saying hey thats that sluts sister, sister
(link)
|
She seems to be pretty open about her having herpes, so I don't know if that'll do much, they pretty much know she's a little whore anyway.
She seems not to care what any other girl thinks; only the guys, who would of course be into her at that age because hormones pretty much dictate they be sex-crazy ;x . They wouldn't really respect her, though...she probably doesn't mind that either, she probably feels it's better than nothing.
The way you're thinking is a little wrong, though; it's hard to control anyone of her age, and it shouldn't matter anyway. She'll bug you, and you may hate her guts because of it, but if someone goes "Your sister is a whore" you can just respond, "I know I hate her," which should distance you from what she does. As long as you stay away from sex yourself, at least :x
If you feel you really need to restrict her, you can take the big step and let your parents know what she does, but that can have nasty consequences and can spiral out of control...both of you might end up seriously regretting that move.
If she really looks up to you, you might want to talk to her about it, but I'm not sure if she'll really listen, she's found her niche and she loves it :/
|
|
I like this guy and he likes me, but we both are too shy to ask each other out. I have decided to make the move-how can I ask him out? When should I? What do I say! (link)
|
Depending on your age you'll want to approach it a certain way.
For high school or beforehand, if you're both shy, the best way to do it is to ask them if they want to do something, hang out, whatever, without friends. You don't have to call it a "date"; it's just you two having fun. If you have to make this move, expect to have to make other moves when you're ready to step up the relationship further.
In college and past, if you know he likes you, just straight up ask him out; he likes you, so you KNOW he'll accept, there's no reason not to just go up and do it. Remember, you're shy mostly because you expect a refusal; if you know there won't be one, you should be able to screw up the courage to do so :x
If things get awkward because you're both shy, communicate! This is the biggest hurdle to a successful relationship between two shy people. You need to be totally open about what you're ready for, what you really want to do, what you have problems doing, what you fear, whatever...if you aren't, neither of you will know what the other is okay with, and you may never screw up the courage to do what both of you really want.
|
how do you tell some one who wants to know when you are in pain and need some kind of outlet, but you don't want to tell them what is bugging you, making you feel like suicide is the only outlet? and this person is some one that you love so much you would die for them, literally. what can i say to make him understand that i love him, but i don't want him to know what i am going through?
(link)
|
This kind of feeling is fairly common for those who are really going through a lot of crap, so you aren't alone in this, it's kind of natural to think this way.
However, "natural" does not mean "correct", and in fact this sort of thinking is often twisted and wrong. You have internal reasons that have you think this way, and since I don't know which they are I'm just going to cover the ones I know.
For some people, it hurts a lot just to talk about what they've been through or what they're going through. They might hear that it's better if you talk about it, holding it in is bad, etc...but they don't believe it. The thing here is that it really *does* help; I've talked about my crisis often myself, and therapists exist as a profession partly because they're there to talk to.
You might think that you don't want to burden him with your problems, that they aren't that important. This is flawed because you forget to look at the other side of the equation: if he knows you're in pain and having trouble, but he doesn't know why and you won't tell him, he's going to worry about it a *lot*. It will strain your relationship also, because relationships function best with complete trust, nothing hidden.
You might feel he'll judge you or not understand; this can be true for some people, but you know him better than I do. There's not much harm in trying, however, because at least there's a chance of your getting the outlet you need.
Sometimes people feel it'll change the relationship. They're right, but they think it'll ruin things...and often it's quite the opposite; your relationship will become stronger and deeper if he understands and accepts you. Part of the feeling of love is to want to prevent or relieve the other person's pain, and if you deny him that, he will suffer too.
If you have a reason not covered, then give that one to me; there are some really odd cases where there actually is a valid reason, but they're rather rare. If you still decide not to tell him, let him know this, and he'll certainly try to persuade you otherwise...but at least you aren't completely ignoring a potential source of tension.
|
|