Member Since: September 11, 2007
Answers: 1
Last Update: September 11, 2007
Visitors: 548
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what is the real definition of cheating on someone?
just wondering (link)
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I realize everyone has different morals, and different feelings, but I was discussing this with my husband last night. I asked him what I would need to do in order for him to feel "cheated upon" (and the reason I asked it was a story I read in which 2 married people, not married to each other, masturbate in the same room, without touching each other or even seeing each other...and I wanted his opinion on whether that was cheating or not). My husband feels that cheating upon someone is preferring another person to him in various choices, not specifically related to sex, but specifically when the choices are equal. If we are driving somewhere, and I were to choose to go with another person in their car, he would feel cheated upon, UNLESS I was going with that person in order to guide them because they didn't know where we were going. If he and a good friend were both to ask me to go to Las Vegas for a week (same choice there) and I were to choose the other person over him, he would feel cheated. However, if the other person asked me to go away for a week and it didn't mean neglecting my other responsibilities (childcare for my children and my work) he wouldn't really mind. He might be somewhat jealous that I got a vacation experience that he didn'T, but he wouldn'T feel cheated upon. If I were to have sex with someone, it wouldn't bother him (as long as it's safe sex) as long as I didn't start choosing that person over him in a regular day-to-day fashion for everything...he feels that is more cheating than having a one night fling somewhere in your life. I must say, I agree to a certain extent. But also, to take it a step further, I wonder why it is we can accept that a person will love 2 parents, or even more if they have step parents sometimes, more than 1 child, more than one friend...can love all these people with equal passion even if they do not love them "the same way", and yet it is not ok to love more than one "significant other". I must say, I do understand the desire of some cultures to have more than one wife, or more than one husband. I would not mind having another woman (or man) living with us, who was sexually active with one or both of us, BUT (and this is a big but) the problem I think would arrise is to find the person who was ok with both our personalities. I'd have to be at ease with the person for them to live with us, otherwise it wouldn't work, and so would my husband. The sex part is really minimal in comparaison.
THEREFORE...I could, in theory, be in love with my husband and another man but unless my husband were ok with that specific man living with us and sharing all the time, I would eventually have to choose between my husband and that man...who to live with permenantly. Because I know that if I were to spend 1 night out per month or less with someone, it wouldn't really faze my husband but if it were 2-3 nights a week it'd start to get old really fast as in "who do you REALLY want to choose to spend your time with".
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