Member Since: April 3, 2018
Answers: 1
Last Update: May 17, 2018
Visitors: 482
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so me an my boyfriend are long distance and so this week i said i wanted a break so it started Tuesday night so i texted him Thursday and said it felt like night days and that i miss him then he said your one crazy bitch that took me by shock like i feel its messed up but i also love him to death but should i leave him (link)
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I say dump him. I know it'll be rough and I'm sorry for that, but my dad has called my mom a bitch pretty much since they were married and it has caused problems. I don't want to sound disrespectful, but my dad's definitely not the smartest guy in the world and I honestly don't think he has any idea how hurtful that word is and how he'd has caused us all problems by using it against my mom on almost a daily basis.
When I was little, my sister and I had a nanny who came over to the house and took care of us during the daytime each weekday. One day when I was four, in front of the nanny, my sister did something to make me mad, so I called her a f---ing bitch. Can you guess where I heard that term from? When the nanny told my parents, they were humiliated, especially since the nanny seemed to know I'd heard my dad use that term against my mother. Our nanny, who used to think a lot of my family, and countless other people who have heard the way my dad talks to my mom all think that my family is white trash because of this. People don't think much of us at all because my dad verbally abuses my mom, my mom tolerates it, and my sister and I were raised by these people.
My sister and I listened to this kind of verbal abuse the entire time we were growing up and were under the impression the whole time that it was normal. We thought all men talked to their wives like that. Because of this, my sister grew up and married a guy who treats her basically the same way our dad treats our mom. She didn't know any better because she felt it was normal for a guy to treat his wife that way.
As for me, I never got married and never plan to. I don't know what a normal, functional marriage is supposed to be like. I am paranoid about ending up with a guy like my dad and I don't know how to make a marriage work. I don't know what I should put up with and what I shouldn't, so I'm afraid I'll either be a doormat like my mom or I'll be too intolerant and naggy. I have no idea how to find a good balance.
So as I see it, verbal abuse is extremely harmful. If you put up with this guy's abuse, you might continue to do so with any other guy you might date in the future and you might wind up marrying a guy who is abusive. Then you can wind up miserable and trapped in a loveless marriage like my mom, you can have a dysfunctional family like mine, and your husband can cause your children problems like the ones my sister and I have had. Or they could learn to become abusive themselves. That's why, if I were you, I would not continue dating this guy.
Good luck and sorry for unloading my family problems on you, but I do feel like these are things you should know. Hope I've helped.
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