Member Since: May 19, 2008
Answers: 1
Last Update: May 19, 2008
Visitors: 622
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I am a 17-year old girl about to go to college. I absolutely love my family. However, recently my dad has been acting harshly towards my mom, but not in an abusive way- he doesn't specify where he's going when he's going out, for example, and expects her to take it. They've been married 26 years, but he doesn't show her a lot of affection -and she has complained to me about it. Now I have proof that he is having an affair. The only problem is is that this proof is his text messages - things I shouldn't be looking at. I couldn't help myself, and I know it was wrong. However, now that I know should I do and/or say something? I am absolutely heartbroken and shocked, but more than that is the fact that my mom doesn't deserve this. Is there anything I can do? Please help me. (link)
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This is your parents' issue, but this doesn't mean that you shouldn't be distressed. We look up to our parents and expect them to be role models. It is clear that your Dad's actions have shaken the image you had in your mind for what he should do or be like. Although I agree that you shouldn't have looked at his texts, it doesn't make it ok for him to cheat on your Mom.
You're an adult, and you should be able to have an adult conversation with your Mom or Dad about this. If or when you do this, focus on how discovering this made you feel, rather than talk about what they did or are doing. It's not your place to get in the middle of your paren's issues, but this has become an issue between your Dad and you. Although it might be tough, the longer you avoid talking about this with him, the more you will think about it.
One site I found that helped me think through this stuff is http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=1RQIZuILR3_2f3prJu71z_2bYw_3d_3d Also, check out askpeggy. Hopefully these will help you work through this and help you decide how, if at all, to bring this up to our parents.
Good luck!
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