Member Since: January 7, 2010
Answers: 1
Last Update: January 7, 2010
Visitors: 571
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I am an 18 year old male and I have been a pretty emotionally dead person for...well since my early childhood. And when I say dead I don't mean depressed or really down or anything of that nature. It's nearly impossible for me to feel anything genuine and I can only put a mask of fakeness on so I don't seem so far out. When I was in a psychology class I read about something called anti-social personality disorder and it almost disturbed me how similar the symptoms were to my own character. I've done enough to put myself away for the better half of my life and I haven't felt a shred of remorse or conscience. Anyways, I'm wondering if my lack of emotion is a cause of concern. Nothing brings me joy, pain, or sorrow and I can't even feel love for my own family anymore. NOTHING will make me feel anything and it bothers me. All I feel like is a body and a brain without a soul. Something is wrong with me but I don't know what. I'm a very intelligent person and all it seems I can do is succeed with material things like work while my relationships are built on false pretenses and emotions I never even felt but acted like I did. My question is: If there is anybody somewhat educated about this...what could be wrong with me? Do I have anti-social personality disorder?...and am I stuck with this? (link)
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I have been like you for a while, not really sure how long though. I still laugh, a lot, but i think most of it is forced and the rest is just because logical observations can be ironic and funny more than emotionally fueled. Anyway I don't really see it as a problem other than the fact that i don't really care to empathize with people. People who are emotionally fucked up, might think of it as a gift, cause they wish that they did not have to feel "real life", but I don't know about it being a "gift". Any way the best advice that could be given is that you should make the best out of it. I'm an air rescue swimmer, we do shit that most people would be afraid of doing, i have not really met many other people like me. This is probably because we can all read other people like book and manipulate them very easily, projecting what ever we think they want us to be. As for the ANTI-SOCIAL part, I do not believe this to be a correct statement as it implies that we are against social behavior, i honestly do not care whether or not I'm with another person or alone, its all just fine and dandy either way. I think "normal" people consider it anti-social because they are upset that nothing they do really has an affect on us. Any way, the best thing I have learned is to just keep it to your self, if you try to tell people you know they will just be confused and bother you more about it; and since it is impossible to relate to them nothing you tell them will help.
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