Member Since: July 31, 2009
Answers: 1
Last Update: July 31, 2009
Visitors: 643
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I am an 18 year old male and I have been a pretty emotionally dead person for...well since my early childhood. And when I say dead I don't mean depressed or really down or anything of that nature. It's nearly impossible for me to feel anything genuine and I can only put a mask of fakeness on so I don't seem so far out. When I was in a psychology class I read about something called anti-social personality disorder and it almost disturbed me how similar the symptoms were to my own character. I've done enough to put myself away for the better half of my life and I haven't felt a shred of remorse or conscience. Anyways, I'm wondering if my lack of emotion is a cause of concern. Nothing brings me joy, pain, or sorrow and I can't even feel love for my own family anymore. NOTHING will make me feel anything and it bothers me. All I feel like is a body and a brain without a soul. Something is wrong with me but I don't know what. I'm a very intelligent person and all it seems I can do is succeed with material things like work while my relationships are built on false pretenses and emotions I never even felt but acted like I did. My question is: If there is anybody somewhat educated about this...what could be wrong with me? Do I have anti-social personality disorder?...and am I stuck with this? (link)
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I've had the same problem before. A few years ago I went through a mental breakdown because my parents had been seperate but my dad still wanted to see me. After my mental breakdown, I felt pretty much the same way you did.
It wasn't untill recently that I broke free. There was a girl that I liked but she just couldn't be with me. It kind of ripped me open I don't know why it affected me more then anything but that was the first cried because of my emotions since my breakdown.
I dont know if this helped you, but I am feeling so much better now, all you need I needed was a little pain to heal me. I had been so scared on a subconscious level of it though that I actually passively tried rejecting people.
Anyway, it's helped me a little more to talk about it and I hope I helped you in some way.
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