Here to help with reasonable advice. Good intentions ALWAYS. All I ask is that if I give you advice, that you honestly rate it and/or leave a comment. Even if you disagree with it.
Please tell your friends.
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Member Since: May 6, 2005
Answers: 13
Last Update: May 6, 2005
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My friend Carmen is a freshman in high school and her new boyfriend is Greg a senior in high school. Now this may not seem very weird to you but i don't care just trust me..this relationship is WEIRD. Picture a 4'11" girl hugging a 6' guy. Before they were going out, Greg used to be Carmen's older brother's best friend. He basically dumped John(carmen's brother and greg's best friend) for Carmen. The guy is a huge ass hole. He didn't even have the coutesy to tell John, John found out by seeing them kiss, and that's not the way is should have been. This kid is a slimy and gross. The kind that only think about butts and boobs all day long and have too many zits on their face and back to count. Not only is he rude to carmen and her friends, he flirts behind her back...like all the time. He even tried to give me a back rub once while she was in the bathroom. He touches and flirts with girls all the time even when she's right there but she just doesn't see that he's a terrible person. I've told carmen all of this but she either doesn't believe me or is trying to pretend it isn't true. This guy is a creep. I have a very strong intuition and from the day I met this kid I knew he was bad news. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm afraid that she's going to loose her virginity to what I believe is the nastiest 18 year old alive. What should I do? Is there anything I can say to her or him to get her to understand how awful this guy is. I talked to a couple of people about it and their best advice is just to be there when she falls but i can't just let my best friend make terrible decisions. Please help me. I've run out of ideas to help her.
-Me (link)
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Let me do the math. I will assume your friend is 14. Remind your friend, that he is a senior and will be leaving for college or moving on to older women next year. Tell her not to go farther than 1st base with this guy before she turns 16 AT LEAST. (Don't tell her this, but by that time, he will have moved on to another peice of flesh.) He seems like a user and someone out for a young, naive kid who will do anything. Please discourage this relationship.
If things get out of hand, inform an adult. It may seem harmless to many, but this relationship, especially if gone awry, can haunt her for years to come. If she loses her virginity to someone who does not have good intentions, she will forever regret it and there will be an onslaught of emotional issues. She's your friend, you're looking out for her. It's tempting to say 'stay out of her business', but then what kind of friend would you be? You will not sit back and watch her be used by a creep with bad intentions.
Have some alone time with her (Have a makeover/sleepover) and talk with her. Bring up some hot guys, her age, that you think would be nice. Remind her of the crushes she USED to have. You don't want to talk nasty about her boyfriend, this will only make her want him more. Just simply avoid talking about him. Encourage her to think about better guys. She will eventually grow tired and uninterested in him.
Don't mention the things the way you said them here. You will sound jealous and you WILL be accused of it.
Instead try to have her focus on others. Remember you're not her mom, you can't advocate who she can and can't date. Only and ONLY if you have pure intentions should you do any of the above.
Figure out if you don't like him because he's crude and nasty to her and others or you just find him unattractive.
And stick by her side, even if she gets hurt by him. Don't say 'I told you so', hold her hand and let her cry on your shoulder. That's what friends do.
Good luck
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my friends keep making fun of me,but i know there are just joking but it makes me feel bad, can anyone help (link)
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Let them know how they make you feel. No matter how corny it sounds. Your feelings matter. Let them know that you wouldn't treat them that way and it hurts that they insistently criticize you.
There's probably just a flaw in communication.
Try reacting differently to their comments. Instead of laughing it off or letting it slide. Nip it in the bud right then and there. Whatever issue they make fun of, shake your head and disagree. Do not even snicker. They may say something like 'dude lighten up' or 'someone's in a bad mood'. That's your perfect opportunity to say 'ease up with the [glasses/dork/fat/whatever] jokes. They're bugging me.'
Your true 'friends' would respect your wishes.
If they're insistent and only one or no one comes to your rescue, borrow a cliche, 'it's nice to know who your friends are.',
or 'with friends like you guys, who needs enemies'.
Don't be afraid to step on some toes. It's a friendship, it's not perfect. Depending on the crowd, expect some friction to your newfound courage, but know that once they get alone and really think about it, they'll understand and make efforts to stop.
Don't be a drama queen about it. You don't want them adding ANOTHER thing to the joke pile. Keep the tears inside and be strong.
Pay attention in the future. They may be making honest efforts to stop, but it's such a habit that they keep letting one slip.
But, if they keep relentlessly doing it, despite the conversation, dump them. You're a good person. You'll attract better friends.
Good luck.
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