My column is supposed to be a place where people can feel free to write down what's been bugging them, things that they really need help with. It's an open and free site, where no one should be discriminated or made fun of. Now I know I may be young, but you will find that I can be very objective, but also emotionally able to put myself in your position and to help in every way possible!
Gender: Female
Occupation: Student
Age: 15
Member Since: January 28, 2011
Answers: 24
Last Update: May 6, 2011
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my friend (16/f) cheated on her boyfriend at some point when they were going out and he recently found out and dumped her. i want to comfort her and be a good friend, but i don't know what to say to make her feel better. i've tried all the basics; "give him time, try to talk to him, apologize, don't worry about it, first days the hardest," etc. but she's still a mess. she was there for me when i was going through a breakup, but the difference between now and then was that my breakup wasn't my fault, the dude i was with just lost interest and it shocked me. this was her fault. she cheated on him with his best friend and thought he'd never find out. (i just found out about it, as well. she pretty much lied to everyone) i told her she messed up big time, but i don't feel like nagging her until she heals more. what should i do/say? (link)
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Best friend duties when your friend is going through a break up are hard, even harder when the break up was her fault! And as a best friend, you must stay by your friends side, but you must also let her know when was she did wasn't okay! Example uno: your friend! Cheating is not okay, and making someone think that it's okay, is definitely not okay. Both you and your friend need to remember that she hurt him first! By all means, she deserves to be hurt and messed up, but here's where best friends jump in! All you can really do is be there for her. She needs to cry, she needs to hurt, she needs to get it all out of her system! And then, she needs to realize what she did wrong, and you have to make sure all those things happen(especially that last part)! So when she's crying, give her one tissue after the other, when she's hurting, hold her, when she wants to stress eat, get her ice cream, when she wants to yell, yell with her, when she wants to punch things, armor yourself with pillows and when she's ready to talk, tell her what she needs to know!
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