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I am 12 yr old girl and want to no wen I should be allowed to do things. First I'm responsible , get good grades, and reasonable. I
Makeup: I have acne so I want to conceal and start putting some on in a yr or two. My mom thinks 15/16
Babysitting / tutu ring: I wanna do it now to prove I'm responsible but my mom thinks 13
Dating: I think dances should be ok in high school and to start real dates jr yr with approval of the boy . Mom thinks 17.
Alone: I want to go shopping and movies with a friend or by myself. With friends I think now and I'll call my mom every hour. Alone I think high school. Mom thinks 15
Shaving legs : I think now . Don't wanna ask mim.
Am I being unreasonable? Is she? What is a good middle ground for a good girl like me? Can u help me convince to that middle ground? Thx (link)
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Your parents obviously have rules because they love you. They want the best for you. They have experienced more and no better than you.
If you have a legitimate point to make, parents—might be willing to hear you out.
The secret to success is how you present your case! The following steps will help you to do so more effectively:
1. Identify the problem. Below, write the issue that you and your parents can’t seem to agree on.
2. Identify the feeling. Below, write a word that describes how your parents’ stand on the issue makes you feel—whether hurt, sad, embarrassed, distrusted, or other. (Example: Your parents’ strict curfew leaves you feeling embarrassed in front of your friends.)
3. Think like a parent. Imagine that you have a teenager who is facing the same issue that you named in Step 1. Assuming the role of a parent, what would be your biggest concern, and why? (Example: Your parents might feel fear for your safety.)
Reassess the issue. Answer the following questions:
What merit can you see in your parents’ point of view?
What can you do to address their concerns?
1. Discuss the matter with your parents and brainstorm solutions. By applying the steps outlined above—and considering the suggestions in the box “ Communication Tips”—you might find that you can communicate with your parents on a more mature level.
COMMUNICATION TIPS
“Listening will get you a lot further than yelling. If you listen to your parents and try to understand their viewpoint, they’ll likely do the same for you.”— Read Philippians 2:3, 4.
“Don’t talk back! I did that repeatedly until I finally realized that an argument (and punishment) could have been avoided if I had just controlled my tongue!”-Read Proverbs 17:27; 21:23.
“Wait until things are calm, when you know that your parents will be willing to listen.”—Read Proverbs 25:11.
“Your parents need to know that you respect them and that you’re really listening to what they’re saying. So before you tell them how you feel, assure them that you heard what they said and that you understand it.”—Read Proverbs 23:22; James 1:19.
For example, suppose they are reluctant to let you attend a certain gathering. Instead of arguing, you could ask, “What if a mature, trustworthy friend came along with me?” Your parents may not always grant your requests; but if you understand their concerns, you have a better chance of suggesting an acceptable option.
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