Just here trying to help. I've lived a lot in my years and think I've got a lot of valuable advice.
Gender: Male
Location: Cape Cod, MA
Occupation: Engineer
Age: 32
Member Since: July 19, 2009
Answers: 4
Last Update: July 19, 2009
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I have a sort of complicated issue, so bear with me. I don't talk...but only sometimes. okay so it's like this:
in school, i don't really speak up much or try to get myself noticed. I don't know why. so everyone thinks I'm shy. But when I go out with friends, I talk to everyone we meet. I'm the one to meet with strangers and talk to them and become friends.
BUT whenever I meet people through other people, I also get shy and don't talk. I also don't know why. I just feel like I might not have something too interesting to say, but i KNOW that I'm really smart and can totally contribute to a conversation. I guess I'm only shy when there are very outgoing people around me. Like at a party, I will be the shy girl. But whenever people are shy around me, I'm the life of the party and get everyone talking. So I really don't understand this issue. It's becoming a problem because I am almost 18 and am needing to find a job and I seem to be really shy at interviews and stuff. And having trouble talking to customers... I don't know I guess I get shy only when I feel scared of failure...Like with people I don't want to embarrass myself with or authority or very outgoing people. I have no clue. Can anyone explain this or give me any tips? I know of course, don't be afraid or anything, and just think that you wont fail...but that doesn't work I still stay quiet... so any advice???? (link)
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Those who have difficulty in social settings have different reasons why. Some individuals develop a disregard for people because of childhood traumas. Others avoid other people because of a physical abnormality, real or imagined. Whatever the cause it all boils down to a lack of confidence in oneself. You're absolutely right. Simply telling yourself not to be afraid is not enough. Start to actively think of failures as opportunities to learn. When you do succeed make a point to recognize how well you did.Let yourself feel good about who you are. Once you feel confident about who you are as a person you will exude confidence to other people. You'll stop worrying about satisfying others and focus on satisfying yourself. Hope this helps. Good luck.
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