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OK, I'm in high school and I don't have any friends, or a boyfriend.. and my family pretty much hates me and my mom and dad are convinced that I'm not gonna get anywhere in life. And they make sure to keep telling me that. So now I kinda breakdown everyday. Even for the stupidest things.. Like I start crying all the time. And I feel so.. incomplete. I sit down and try to study but I always feel like something is missing.. and I can't concentrate. Also, I'm always worrying about what others are saying about me.. (my class is FULL of bitchy snobby girls).. I think about it all the time. Like I literally spend half my day thinking about what they say about me and how mean they are to me.. And I keep wondering how I can make it better. Am I really just full of self pity or am I seriously losing my mind?
First of all, you are NOT losing your mind. I went through some very similar issues, especially with the bullying and the family troubles, and I was very depressed until I started to see both a therapist and a psychiatrist. And let me tell you, it DOES get better. It got much better for me. I left my parents' house a few years ago, and I have my own apartment now.
I don't know how old you are, and I am not going to tell you to run away from home. What I am going to tell you is that your mom and dad have no right to cause you to feel the way you've been feeling. I understand how hard it can be to believe a complete stranger like me over your parents, but I'm urging you to believe in yourself.
Now, I also want to let you know that no matter what people are saying or doing to you, and no matter what they might believe on the matter, you HAVE THE RIGHT to feel unconditionally loved and lovable. If you feel lonely, try brainstorming activities you enjoy doing (such as writing, listening to/creating music, playing sports, making art, and so on), and arrange to do them, either alone, or with someone you trust and care about. For example, I love to write - I believe everyone has a story to tell that the world needs to hear - so I take a notebook and pen/pencil wherever I go. What sorts of things do you take pride in? Learn to use that pride and sense of accomplishment to help protect you when other people try to bring you down. Most importantly, don't allow ANYONE to attack your skill/talent. I don't show my parents the stories I write anymore, because they don't understand that I write them as therapy, not as a way to please them.
My friend, you are truly beautiful, inside and out. Those girls at school are just jealous, you know. :) I mean it. They may never admit it to you, but the things they drag you down about the most are the things they most desperately wish they had. It's that way every time. So just go about your life being your own amazing self, and along the way, you WILL find the friends and the boyfriend you seek. For now, though, just focus on YOU. That's what's important.
Be Yourself - Think For Yourself - Love Yourself
And don't worry: You Are Not Alone.
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