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Hey BK,
I read one of your posts on the thread "I don't feel emotions anymore" and some of the things you said really stuck a chord with me.
I am exactly like you. I'm also a 20 year old male and experience the exact same things that you said you feel (unable to feel real emotion etc.) I feel numb most of the time and don't really seem to have any sincere empathy for others. I will listen yo someone pour their heart out and will try my best to help them through it, but my words of advice feel empty and I help them because i choose to, not because I am driven to by emotion.
I never used to be like this, but over the last couple of years i have just become very fake and my thoughts are constantly about myself and every interaction with another human being feels like an act.
I was just curious as to how you go about your day to day life feeling the way you do and if you have done anything that helps? I have only recently admitted these things to myself and i feel uneasy for the future.
Thanks :)
(link)
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silverlight_cx@live.com add me on msn man
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Hi, BK201
I read your post(http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=526605) on the 26th of January this year.
It actually gave me goosebumps to read it. I am similar to you in so many regards.
Do you think you would have some time to talk to me about it. I understand if you don't, so please don't feel pressured.
I'll keep checking the site, but my email address is glen.edwards33@gmail.com
I look forward to finally having someone who actually understands what I'm going through(maybe not understands, but you'll get what I mean and won't judge me)
I look forward to talking to you.
Regards,
Glen Edwards (link)
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I thought I replied on a dead topic, though kind of relieved I got a reply. Haha
I added you on msn live, hopefully that's okay.
my email is silverlight_cx@live.com
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I am an 18 year old male and I have been a pretty emotionally dead person for...well since my early childhood. And when I say dead I don't mean depressed or really down or anything of that nature. It's nearly impossible for me to feel anything genuine and I can only put a mask of fakeness on so I don't seem so far out. When I was in a psychology class I read about something called anti-social personality disorder and it almost disturbed me how similar the symptoms were to my own character. I've done enough to put myself away for the better half of my life and I haven't felt a shred of remorse or conscience. Anyways, I'm wondering if my lack of emotion is a cause of concern. Nothing brings me joy, pain, or sorrow and I can't even feel love for my own family anymore. NOTHING will make me feel anything and it bothers me. All I feel like is a body and a brain without a soul. Something is wrong with me but I don't know what. I'm a very intelligent person and all it seems I can do is succeed with material things like work while my relationships are built on false pretenses and emotions I never even felt but acted like I did. My question is: If there is anybody somewhat educated about this...what could be wrong with me? Do I have anti-social personality disorder?...and am I stuck with this? (link)
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I agree with many of the statements made in each of the posts by everyone. It is truly interesting to read about something so similar to yourself, when you have trouble realizing who you really are.
I'm just gonna get lost in my thoughts right now. I'm sure we all do. So don't let my puzzle-like approach distort your interest.
First off,
I'm 20 years old, Male. I have been out of school for three wasted years of my life. Though I'm intelligent, and strive to uphold an understanding above the average person.
I've undergone many conflicts in life, I just recently battled social anxiety disorder, which left me focused on this certain void, we all share. (It is usually connected to depression as well)
My parents often ask me if I'm depressed. Because when im walking around the house or doing something im always thinking, deep in my head im gone. I get offended because I feel like I have enough things going on in my life to make me happy, so I might be lying to myself but I believe I am happy, but I lack the emotion to EXPRESS it.
We are very introverted thinkers, and often represent logic and order. Though we can contradict ourselves with our best thought out answer.(For example someone says my friend died and I'm completely drowning in sorrow. And you answer by saying all the necessary compassionate things, but you want your understanding to be perfect so you also say you lost a friend of your own.) - The honest help we provide to others is laced in a fabricated gel to strengthen our opinions.
What does this all mean, I'm a pathological liar maybe. But the way I lie, is for the better well being of others. Little white lies, they all seem to me, though others might think they're vast.
The person I trust the most, is myself. My thoughts go so deep sometimes. I always pair it with purpose. There has to be a reason why I choose to sit and think in an empty room, over going outside and enjoying the sun. It might not even necessarily be the lack of basic emotion, but that understanding is more important to us so we can become something more.
I desire very little. I could be happy living in a small apartment for the rest of my life working an office job. I do have hopes and dreams and passions. I produce uplifting and progressive trance. There's a quote that represents my whole life "Logic is order, passion accentuates freedom"
Wow. The basics of my life, when looked into they become a complex whirlpool of thoughts, and script explaining emotions I wish I could feel. I wish I was stupid, or ignorant, after reading so much about my problems, I have accepted it as a gift, but the greater gift of all is the world we live in, and our souls, our consciences.
Emotions seem so abstract and dull, that I envy normal people. And I shape my life with my understandings of moral, love, guilt, all of that, that I've gathered whilst reading the minds of others, and learning about what makes them tick.
I'm just a hermit, studying the human race, and the brain. I feel like without the knowledge I can't survive in this world, when in fact, the most effective prospect is action. If I'm not able to feel sad, or happy, how will I be able to live. It scares me, and the only way I can make myself feel better, is to do the one thing I love most, and hate at the same time. Thinking and working out new problems. I use it to help people with similar disorders or people who self injure. ( I never have myself) but this place I have in the world, I need to make it good. For now.
Some day soon I might let go of understanding, and the actions I was always scared to to in my past will become a present, and I will become who I should have grown up to be.
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