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I KNOW THIS MESSAGE IS LONG BUT PLEASE HELP ME :(
Hello i am 19 year old girl, i have a loving family and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years, he is my first ever boyfriend and my first in everything sex wise and relationship wise. ALOT has happened so i'll just tell you the simple version. The relationship started out fine in the beginning and then after about a year he started to get very argumentative and very angry later on that year he broke up with me and told me he slept with another girl and wore a condom BUT didnt cheat on me, and after a month he wanted to get back together, so i did, 3 months after we got back together i dragged out of him that he didnt in fact wear a condom so he lied to me, i undertook the correct precautions when he told me this and thankfully everything was fine with me and him so stayed with him despite the lie, 6 months later i then found out that he lied again when he said that he slept with the girl when we broke up he actually cheated on me, he acted very sorry and said the arguments would stop and things would change so i forgave him again.
Throughout all of this he has gained a very bad relationship with my mother and relatives, when we first got together my mum treated him extemley well but since the cheating he has been cocky and arrogant to my mother, when he was arguing at me again about a month a go, my mum got involved as she didnt like the way he was talking to me and he told her to 'shut her f***ing mouth.'
he refuses to take me out anywhere as he says he cant be bothered.
It has now been 6 months since these lies adn arguments and i feel now has been the final straw. my grandmother was ill and i told him that i could only see him for 3 hours, i told him this as his house he FLIPPED 'What the f*** you didnt tell me how dare you' i then said im leaving and he blocked the door i shouted and went into the living room, he blocked that door he wouldnt let me out i called my mother and he was in the background SHOUTING and SWEARING and he wouldnt let me out, he then said go on get out theres the door f*** off and DIE i went to leave and he blocked the door again saying it was a joke and he loves me. eventually his parents came home and said they would give me a lift home, he said 'its my f***ing car too im coming as well' he was swearing at me saying your a bitch you treat me like s*** you treat me like a dog no wonder you dont have any friends. now he is acting like nothing has happened saying i love you all the time and saying he wants to take me some place special for my birthday and give me my birthday presents.
i know i should leave him but this is all i know since i was 17 and im so scared to leave him, im going to university but i have no friends and scared of never being loved by anyone else and he'll be the only one who'll ever love me :(
please help (link)
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Woah woah woah. That sounds exactly like the relationship i just got out of.
The only difference is that I'm only 17.
I dated someone for two and a half years. And she treated me exactly how it sounds your boyfriend treats you. She yelled at me and called me names. She hit me and if I tried to leave, she would block the door. I wasn't "allowed" to hangout with my friends and she controlled every part of my life. When my mom was living five hours away, I hadn't seen her in 3 months and my ex wouldn't let me go visit her at Christmas. She said it was "me or your mom." She would tell me to go die and that I should kill myself because "no one will ever love me." Then after every big fight, she would tell me she was just kidding and try to laugh about it.
She cheated on me four times. She broke up with me numerous times for seven different girls. Then lied about it and told me it never happened. Then told me it did. Then tried to change her story and messed with my head.
I'm telling you from experience myself, that its really not good for you and you need to get out of it.
When she broke up with me again for another girl in December, I said that was it. I wasn't gonna deal with that anymore. Its not healthy and I didn't deserve any of it.
And neither do you.
No one does.
I realized that I had manipulated myself into thinking that I "needed her" because I didn't have anyone else. All of my friends had given up on me. Plus, I was moving to a completely different school two hours away so I had to start over completely, which again kind of sounds like what you're going through.
I thought for sure that no one would ever love me again and that I'd never make new friends.
But I was wrong. Being in that relationship taught me alot and now I know what to put up with in a relationship.
I know that you don't personally know me. But I can PROMISE you that you will be better off without him. You don't deserve anything he puts you through and you will find someone who makes you so incredibly happy. Especially when you're going to a new university, meeting new people.
I know this might be wierd because I am younger than you. Haha, but I really think you should get out of it while you can.
I hope I helped and I hope everything works out for you.
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