Member Since: February 18, 2015
Answers: 19
Last Update: May 19, 2015
Visitors: 1450
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24/f. My mom has been emotionally and psychologically abusing me for as long as I can remember. Because she is a narcissist, no one believes me in my family. First and foremost, I can't report emotional/psychological abuse to the police. However, it has affected me a great deal and has put my mental health in danger. She has stolen my identity, which could ideally put her bind bars for some time. But, if I did that, no one in my entire family would speak to me. My mom has BIG issues and I don't think jail is the answer. She needs to go to therapy. She needs to be forced to go to therapy. I have one family member, my cousin, who believes me. She's only 11 and she says that my mother is unstable and that she would consider the way she treats me as emotional abuse. I don't live completely at home. I have an apartment about 30 minutes away. However, I do come back home to see my grandparents, pets, and my niece and nephew. However, my mom does not stop calling me. She calls at all hours and told me that she has a tracker on my phone to see where I am. EVERYTHING is a problem for her. She is a stalker. The other day, I was at CHURCH and she said that she wanted me to leave immediately and that she was angry. Then, she made up some story saying she "KNEW" that I was with someone and just didn't want to come see her. I am not willing to speak to her until she gets therapy. However, she is dangerous, it seems. She is scary. She'll make threats like she is going to hurt herself. Pretty soon, my family will come knocking on my door dragging me out telling me that I have to come see her that I'm the wrong one for whatever I did. I want to go off the grid with the condition that my mom gets the help she needs, and my family, for the most part, gets help too. I am tired of being in such a dysfunctional circle. It has ruined my relationships, friendships, and even my jobs. These people are intense. If I don't answer, they WILL come find me. My dad is the commander of the city and he has trackers and will find me in a second. There has to be a way that I can do this legally... like literally go off the grid, be able to continue my studies online, and her to be told that she can't see me until she goes to therapy... like maybe some kind of restraining order. i don't know. Please help!
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Unfortunately, I totally understand what you're feeling and unfortunately most of society doesn't.
Currently, society and many authorities like police etc, thinks emotional abuse is no big deal or you can walk away from it. But when it's combined with intense stalking, violent, obsessive group mentalities, Internet stalking and periphery enablers and look-awayers, it's a literal nightmare and you have almost no protection.
I've been there and I understand the only way to get away is to try to go off the grid, but it's hard to do and no one will understand why you're doing it which could lead to more problems and you'll look like the bad or crazy one to not only your family then, but also to society until you prove your'e not.
You're living a nightmare. I truly get it.
What you can do at this point is only this. Keep a detailed log of every event that's going on. Keep all texts and start recording phone conversations. At least you're actually getting verbal threats and other things that mean something to the police. Late night phone calls are legal harassment in many states too. Even if you don't think you will pursue legal action in the future, start keeping your log now because you might be forced to take legal action in the future.
Instead of going off the grid, meet with your local domestic violence office and start speaking with a counselor and also join a support group. There are all sympathetic witnesses to the abuse and support for your emotional health.
Start bringing non-enabling family members to your house instead of going to hers. If you must be around her start bringing friends from your domestic violence support group etc. with you. Start building your stock of credible witnesses.
Next step is to cut off all contact with your family. It's legally not abuse until you cut off contact, so do that asap.
Unfortunately, that includes cutting off contact with some of the ones that you want to see.
If they are defending and enabling your mother and other abusers in your family, they are just as dangerous to you.
Get away as soon as you can. Don't leave your mental health up to a bunch of jerks that don't care about you. Emotional abuse takes a serious toll if you let it and it will affect your professional and personal life if you don't stop allowing it in.
I'm glad to hear you're involved with Christ. Don't be fooled into thinking that He wants to keep you exposed to abusers. You're supposed to separate yourself from wicked people and forgive them. If they come back to you repentant, yes you should let them back into your life if the Holy Spirit truly tells you to. However, if you can't trust them, then you have to keep your physical distance until you can, yet make sure you've forgiven them from your heart.
Unfortunately, society tells you to just sit there and take it, get over it, forgive, stop being a baby, but you're going through an intense form of bullying that can be extremely damaging it if you keep exposing yourself to it. Believe me. Run, keep records, build trusted witnesses, cut off contact, be prepared if you have to file for a restraining order.
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Rating: 5
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thank you so much x3. it means a lot to me to hear from another Christian who has been through a similar situation. i will definitely take your advice and keep the logs!
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