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19/f I went through a deep, long episode of depression. I absolutely loathed myself. It escalated to where I was cutting, and I nearly attempted suicide. I had a drink and a bottle of pills ready one night, the only thing that stopped me was the thought of being a buzz-kill for my father's huge 50th birthday event coming up. Before and after that, suicide was almost all I thought about.
I was pretty dang overweight. I wanted to get out of this dark abyss, and not that losing weight would be what would make me worth something, but I didn't want weight to hold me back anymore. It's been about 3 or 4 months since I decided to really start losing weight. I've been extremely loyal to my diet, and have lost quite a bit of weight. Everyone is noticing and complimenting me. It used to be just people I hadn't seen in a while, but now even people I see every day are saying I look great. I'm far from done, but here's the issue.
Instead of loathing myself, at the beginning of the month I realized I'm kind of tolerating who I am now. I'm starting to feel proud of what I look like. Instead of staring into the mirror glaring at the person looking back, I'm noticing how parts of me are shrinking and getting firmer, and it makes me feel pretty awesome. I couldn't see at first, but now I'm noticing and it's a pretty awesome feeling. My journey is far from over, but I've made some good progress.
What I'm worried about is, I don't want to equate my self-worth with how much I weigh. I'm worried that my hatred is going away because I'm starting to look good. I don't want to depend on my looks for my worth. SO, is it normal to feel this way when losing weight? How can I differentiate loving myself for real/ just loving how I look that day? I want to be careful, because I want to like being me for me, not for the compliments and approval I'm getting. I don't know, does anyone know how I feel? (link)
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It's all right to feel happy/proud of loosing weight. After all it's quite an achievement. Well done! But you right it normally starts like this and leads many girls to anorexia. You are far from anorexia but just to be sure that you wont be in that position follow these few steps and your weight will be balanced.
1.Eat 3-5 portions a day. Sounds a lot? Eat smaller portions more frequently. This will not only help you with your metabolism but you will also feel full.
2. Instead of having sugary snacks like crisps, chocolate bar etc. try to eat fruit/vegetable. They have natural sugar which will not make you fat. It is proven that fake sugar (found in sweets, chocolate etc.) is bad for you and can lead you to many diseases. If it is possible cut out sugar completely (eat alternatives with sweetner)or pick a day of a week that you will allow yourself to eat it and stick to it.
3. Avoid take-away meals/microwave meals. They aren't very healthy. Start cooking yourself then you will now exactly what you are eating.
4. Do some exercise every day. It really helps.
PS: Remember looks is not everything. Having a good personality is what matters more than anything. Trust me men don't like skinny girls.
Hope I helped.
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Rating: 5
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Solid advice!! GREAT things to keep in mind. Thank you. :)
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