Member Since: September 12, 2011
Answers: 190
Last Update: April 26, 2016
Visitors: 10398
|
| |
|
I love my mother to death. She is one of the only two people who has loved me unconditionally my entire life, and the other one is not my dad. The problem is that the past few years, she's been so paranoid that I will do things I would never, ever do. When my unmarried cousin got pregnant while she was in college, I couldn't even mention my boyfriend without my mom telling me not to have sex or get pregnant. What was the real son of a b*#"! was that I started getting urinary tract infections a short time later, which my doctor said was because of this and that, but my mom was convinced it was because of sex. Now she's done something that I'm afraid will make things permanently awkward between us. I'm engaged to a wonderful man who my mom should know I love more than life. I've always had crushes on cute boys since my first crush when I was about 8 and there were times in my teens when I could talk incessantly about guys I liked to my mom. I never flat out said that I liked them and tried to keep her from knowing, but she always knew. Then tonight, I told her that one of my friends came out as gay and her parents didn't take it very well and my mom thought I was talking about myself. I don't have anything against gays, but my mom's got a big mouth and I'm afraid of what she might say to my fiancee. If I lose my fiancee, it'll kill me. He's everything to me and my life really sucked before he came along. She thought it was one of those stories where you say it's a friend when it's really you. I tried to convince her otherwise and remind her of my boy crazy personality and she said she believed me, but I don't think she does. She's stressing me out and damaging our relationship by showing that she doesn't know me or trust me at all. What should I tell her? How could I possibly convince her that I've never been gay or had premarital sex? (link)
|
I think that if this guy knows you and your mother at all, he'll also kno how apparently obsessive she is about you, your future life and behaviour.
Rather than try to convince your mother that what you were telling her was about someone else, not you, and that she's not to spread the word that you're gay is btter left alone.
I'd go to your guy and convince him that your Mom has the wrong end of the stick and may try to convince him that you're gay. Doing this will forewarn him to expect a 'story' rather than truth, and he might recognise that you're telling him the truth; this could help build trust between you.
As for your Mom, all you can do is reassure her that there are some things you would never do (like suddenly becoming gay, having sex or getting pregnant before you are ready for it.
I really hope this helps, I have mother problems of my own so I understand fehow frustrating they can be. Good luck and best wishes Xx.
|
|
Rating: 5
| |
Thank you. I am taking you advice and it is working great. I really appreciate your help.
|
|