I'm a South African student studying education and majoring in Psychology.
I have a love for helping people overcome difficult circumstances in which they may find themselves.
I've faced many personal issues and overcome many obstacles in life so far especially regarding my family home life. I'm proud to say that there isn't a thing which I regret because experience is priceless! It's made me who I am today :)
If you would like my assistance regarding the above, I'll be more than willing to help out.
Drop me a line!
E-mail: kcvanrooyen@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: South Africa
Occupation: Student
Member Since: June 25, 2012
Answers: 2
Last Update: June 25, 2012
Visitors: 1115
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I broke up with my on and off again boyfriend (for 3 years) almost a month ago. He has a drug problem and relapsed. I had so much hope this time because he went to a rehab and was such a different person than before. We were doing really well and then he came to visit me because I was up doing summer classes at my college and he lives in our hometown. Well he relapsed a few days before...I had no idea. And then when he left a few people asked me about it from our hometown so I asked him and he started crying. I knew he was mostly crying because of the drugs and was trying to push some of the pressure on me. Plus then I felt like I couldnt be mad that he came up and slept with me while he was lying to my face. So I just ended it. And a few days later he tried calling/texting and I didnt respond. Then he asked later through text if it would be too hard to talk and I said yes. Then he went on to say that when he figured out his life he really wanted a second shot with me and he really loved me so much. I could tell from his texts that he was nervous and I just kept saying I wanted him to do it for himself and I couldnt promise anything. This was like a month ago.
I knew those texts would mess with my mind. Now that I'm home I'm going crazy. I keep rethinking and rereading his texts and wondering if I made a mistake. and if somehow I was being a bad person for not sticking with him and supporting him. Plus I miss him so much. Ive been with him so long that I feel like no one is gonna make me feel the same. Plus college life is so different and I do go out and have fun...but I am not in any way the type of girl to just randomly go home with guys. I feel like all guys there are used to getting stuff so easily they barely put in any effort. They act interested till they realize you arent easy.
Im so depressed right now and I feel like no one understands where I am coming from. I keep worrying and worrying that maybe hes already found someone and replaced me or if hes going to try and come back soon. Then i have to remind myself that it doesnt matter. It doesnt matter because I shouldnt be putting myself in these situations all the time. I truley need to move on but what if hes the one for me and Im losing out on it? :/ Please help!! (link)
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I can sort of relate to what you're saying...no, I haven't dated a guy that was on drugs. But I have a brother who was using for plus minus 6 years.
I'm familiar with the pain and suffering one goes through in trying to help such a person to change. But that's it right there. You can't force someone to change. They've got to come forward out of their own and ask for help.
You dated for a long time so of course you love each other. I don't think you should leave him just like that. I'm not at all justifying his actions...he shouldn't have lied to you. It's obvious that he didn't intend on hurting you. But I reckon that the best would be to be straight up honest with him about how YOU feel and what the consequences will be if he does in fact lie to you again. Everyone deserves a second chance.
A guy like him simply needs love and someone that is willing to come down to his level...to get through this WITH him. There's a lot to be learned through this not only for him but also for you.
Remember, God won't bring you to it, if He can't take you through it.
-Hope this helps.
Kim x
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Rating: 5
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Its just hes relapsed so many times. And both of my brothers have gone through rehab. Im so sick of drugs being in my life :/ and i feel like im enabling him because he will always have me if he keeps acting like hes acting. So as much as it hurts and I cry everynight...i think i have to keep up not talking to him and hoping that if we are meant to be that we will find each other again when he has more figured out :/ Thank you!
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