Bio♥
Hey, I'm Melody! I've been giving advice on and off since 2003. I'm a 23 year old military wife, expecting a baby boy in August, and working on my Bachelor's degree. :)
Oh, and ask me anything!
Advice
13/f
I know I have a good life. I have a family that loves me, I have a lot of good friends, I get good grades in school,etc. but for some reason, I still get depressed a lot. A couple years ago, I was having extreme self esteem issues (which led to an eating disorder) and problems with my relationship with my parents and I started cutting myself. And the only people I could talk to about it weren't helping me in the way I needed. My parents don't understand what I went through then. They thought I was overreacting when I tried getting help from them.
It was hard, but I finally started to pull myself out of that state. The thing that helped the most was distracting myself with school and extracurricular activities. I've finally realized that I don't want to that anymore, but I still get depressed a lot and I get really moody around everybody. My relationship with my parents has gotten better in some ways, but I get in fights with them a lot. I can't help it sometimes.
I was doing a lot better this year because I started my freshman year (I'm year ahead in school) and I was busy with band too. I met a ton of new people and I started becoming friends with a senior. We got really close and we flirted a lot too. He made it seem like he really cared about me. And then, out of the blue, he stopped talking to me. I thought he needed a little space and that he would talk to me when he was ready. Days turned into weeks which turned into months. And I got no answer. I spent 6 months thinking that I did something wrong. I recently found out that he did something similar to my best friend too. But even knowing that he is a jerk hasn't made me feel any better.
Maybe I just set myself up for failure. I try to have confidence, but I get my hopes up and as much as I try, I am never as good or can compare to the people around me. I just got through applying for an student engineering camp through a university. I got this idea in my head that I could actually get in. I worked so hard, but I know it's going to be good enough. I don't know how I would deal with not making it in. I don't want to be the person I was 2 years ago. I guess I just need somebody to tell me everything's gonna be okay.
Of course everything is going to be okay, but I think you already knew that. :)
You seem to be a very level headed thirteen year old. This is rare. In my opinion, the age you are at right now is the hardest age to go through. Your emotions and hormones are going absolutely haywire, and you are just beginning to discover yourself and who you are going to be as a teenager and an adult. I felt like an adult at thirteen. I thought the depression (yes I was going through it as well) was something I was going to have to deal with for the rest of my life. I thought I knew who I was, where I was going in life, etc. The truth is, I was so wrong. I am a completely different person now at 21 then I ever was at thirteen. And I am sure that at age thirty I will say the same thing. As humans we are constantly evolving, finding ourselves, and learning from our mistakes. I don't think this ever fully stops to be honest. You mess up, you take a life lesson from it, you don't do that again, and you repeat. Over and over and over again until the very end.
Cutting yourself, as well as dealing with depression are two things that I could go on about forever, but I don't want to make this response too terribly long. If you would like advice on these things, please inbox me.
Otherwise, as far as the boy trouble goes, you will have your heart broken time and time again in high school. You'll probably break some hearts as well. That's part of growing up. It's important to let yourself be sad about it for a little while, and then pick yourself up and move on because it's not the last time that's going to happen. Chalk it up to experience, like I said, and move on. Eventually you will find the guy that's right for you.
And regardless of whether or not you get into the camp, congratulations! You took the initiative to apply, which is more than a lot of people can say. As with the boys, you will be rejected for things like this many times, but eventually you will get a YES if you keep trying and keep your head up. And remember,
"Shoot for the moon...even if you miss, you will land among the stars!"
This advice is very scatterbrained. I apologize for that. But hopefully you will find some good advice in there somewhere. :D
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