Member Since: September 12, 2011
Answers: 190
Last Update: April 26, 2016
Visitors: 10405
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Lately I feel like my friend just complains to me about everything. She has it really bad, to me at least. She's anorexic, and is in a "relationship" with a guy across the country. She sexted him and her mom found out and it's not so good. She's been going to thereapy btw.
Well I cut myself, because of alot of things. I hate my stepmom, myself, I'm worried about my friend. My mom knows I used to cut, but doesnt do anything about it. But I have no one to talk to because they all seem to have it worse than me and I feel selfish talking about myself. So instead I cut and hide my scars. It's really hard to explain. I wrote a poem, explaining it better
You always tell me I should talk
But I feel selfish, so I walk
I refuse to burden you with me
It's locked inside under lock and key
When you ask if I'm okay
I'm dying to come out and say
"No I'm not" but you can't see
The pain revolving inside of me
I stay as silent as a ghost
As the pain feed of its host
My fingers close around a knife
It glints and threatens to take my life
I refuse to look in the mirror
I hate myself and my tears
I hate the scars made from the hurt
But love the blood that stains my shirt
As time passes I grow weak
Tears slide endlessly down my cheek
When I'm around people I wear a smile
But I'm dying all the while
So I'll tell you every lie
So you'll never see me cry
I'm so sorry if I hurt you
Theres not a thing I wouldn't do
I would run a thousand miles
If all you'd ever do was smile
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Your poem is very good and you're right, it does express the pain you're feeling.
Is there someone you could show this poem to, teacher, doctor, counsellor, friend, family member? Anyone who will see the pain, as anyone who reads it will surely do and can help you talk about your feelings when you cut, when you don't and why.
It worries me that you don't have a friend to confide in, share secrets with; you might find that your friend would really appreciate hearing how you feel. We all have ways of controlling stress; mine is to relax with my crafts, yours is to cut releasing your tension, your friend organises her food intake. You might both benefit by telling her that everyone has to have a safe way of releasing and reducing their stress levels. Perhaps you could find something you could do together - painting, walking, singing in a choir, swimming, playing sport - whatever you both enjoy that helps you forget your problems.
I Reaklly hope this helps, keep in touch if you feel like a chat. Best wishes XX.
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Rating: 4
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The thing is, neither of us are anti social people. I'm in track, softball, basketball, chess, news club, i paint and write. And she's in choir, news club, glee club and kind of writes and always talk about her problems.
And no i don't have anyone i showed it to my friend, but she just message me back (.)
I don't know, thank you
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