Member Since: September 12, 2011
Answers: 190
Last Update: April 26, 2016
Visitors: 10395
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So I recently met this guy, thing is...I've known him sience we were little. we apparently stopped talking because he went to juvy wen he was 6 for grand theft auto. We started dating on christmas of 2011 (last year). My life has been amazing ever sience! I love being with him, around him, and anything that has to do with seeing him. Right now, he is 15 and I'm 13 (don't tell me I'm too young for anything I'm going to say). He is in a residential center right now until march. He has done stuff he isn't proud of, but he tells me that he loves me and is going to change once he gets out. I've also done things I'm not so proud of, so we can relate. I feel like i can trust him, but the thing is.....we usually see eachother on saturdays when he gets out on pass..but yesterday...he didn't show up. I have no idea what is going on and I'm kinda getting scared. I think something happened, but I don't know what. Time for the weird and personal stuff.....he had sex with one of my friends friend, but he only used her for sex....nothing else....he. never loved her, but he told her he did....my friend keeps telling me that he truly does love me, and that if he didn't...he wouldn't go through so much hassle just to be with me...we've been dating for almost 2 months, the girl he only used for sex dated him for 2 weeks, then he dumped her. He hasent tried to rush things with me at all! That is what im suprised about. I dont know what to do! I just think he would cheat on me once he gets out, because my mother keeps telling me that he is using me for a safe place to go when he gets out on his passes....soo... ..my questions are...
#1: Does he seem pretty honest?
#2: Do you think i should trust him?
#3: Do you think he would cheat on me when he gets out?
#4: Do you think he is just using me?
#5: What could I do to show him i truly love him?
#6: Is it weird to worry this much about him?
THANKIES!!!! XD (link)
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I've read the other answers to your question and I agree with almost everything they say, except that this guy will never change. True, most people in his position don't change but that could be because they return to their old life, environment, friends, habits etc.
I think for this guy to have any hope of changing anything about his life will take a lot of work and possibly three things:
He has to WANT to change. No-one could force you do something you don't want to do, the same goes for him, Change must come from inside to be effective.
His environment would have to be completely different to that he was in before, far away from the temptation of the things he did before. Being back in the same place would possibly just lead him to old haunts and old 'friends' who will encourage him to join in with their bad habits again.
The amount of help and support he'll need would be colossal, possibly a 24/7 to keep him safe from all the temptation he'll meet.
At 13, this is a lot for you to take on. Your life would be on indefinite hold, schoolwork, friends, hobbies etc would all be forgotten until he was strong enough to resist temptation.
To be honest, this isn't something you could do on your own. I'd suggest that you remain friends with him IF YOU WANT TO, keep in touch by email, text, phone, occasional days/evenings out. If he does really love you, he might well be willing to clean his life up, knowing you're there to give him support.
However, I would also advise that you don't tie yourself to him in any way. AS we grow older, our tastes and feelings change; the boy I loved 'forever' at 15 became an idiot when I was 16! At the moment, nothing is written in stone, so keep it that way until you've looked around at other guys a bit and feel more sure of your feelings.
Hope this helps, please let me know how you get on? Best wishes X.
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