My column is supposed to be a place where people can feel free to write down what's been bugging them, things that they really need help with. It's an open and free site, where no one should be discriminated or made fun of. Now I know I may be young, but you will find that I can be very objective, but also emotionally able to put myself in your position and to help in every way possible!
Gender: Female
Occupation: Student
Age: 15
Member Since: January 28, 2011
Answers: 24
Last Update: May 6, 2011
Visitors: 3674
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His name is Justin. He's absolutely beautiful. I met him six or more months ago through some friends. We had something for each other, but I had a boyfriend at the time so it went nowhere.
Now I've been single for awhile. For I was dumped for an eighth grader (I'm 19). Anyways. He and I got together and ended up hooking up a few times. Which is fine by me because I'm still a little shaken from my last relationship. Yet, I can't help but fall for him.
He constantly tells me that I'm not making a good choice by falling for him, because he's a 'monster.' He calls himself this because he's unstable. A year ago on his birthday, his girlfriend was shot in front of him outside of the mall in a mugging. He is still absolutely devastated. He thinks that dating someone will be a betrayal of her. I understand this completely. He even said he prefers we no longer have sex because he doesn't want to hurt me, or have me change for him.
I'm completely confused and torn in two. Do I continue to follow? I know him a lot better then he thinks. Or do I just.. drop it? And how? I don't think I've ever been so stuck in my life. (link)
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Alright..see, here's the problem no. 1. You said you understand this completely. But how could you?? How could you even begin to understand what it's like to have someone you love killed in front of you, on your birthday! Has that ever happened to you? It's such a horrible thing, and thank god it's never happened to me so both of us shouldn't even pretend to understand what that's like. It destroy's the person, imagine replaying that scene over and over in your head, seeing her die over and over again because you can't help it. It's human torture, so you're lucky that this guy isn't mentally insane! But what you do have to understand is that it's obviously hard for him. Of course he feels like he's betraying her, of course he's devastated! But I don't think you should leave him. I think you need to stick with him through this, be with him, help him move on. BUT as a friend. The last thing he needs is a girlfriend, what he needs the most is a friend. No one should have to go through something like that alone. So that means, no more sex, no more hooking up, no more making out and what ever else you two do, because you'd be cheating yourselves and it would never be going anywhere. Give it a shot, do it right, help him get over her, and then, go for it with all your heart!! So then even if it doesn't work it, you can at least say that you gave it your all!
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Rating: 5
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When I said I understand it completely, I was more or less referring to why he wouldn't want a girlfriend. That's why I'm not trying to pry. We both agreed on no more sex. My only thing is, he doesn't want to move on, he even said he'll never get over it. I feel so bad for him, he's such a great person. I can only hope that it will work out for him in the end. Thanks for the advice.
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