My column is supposed to be a place where people can feel free to write down what's been bugging them, things that they really need help with. It's an open and free site, where no one should be discriminated or made fun of. Now I know I may be young, but you will find that I can be very objective, but also emotionally able to put myself in your position and to help in every way possible!
Gender: Female
Occupation: Student
Age: 15
Member Since: January 28, 2011
Answers: 24
Last Update: May 6, 2011
Visitors: 3679
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Heres the thing. I really really like my best guy friend. We've been friends for such a long time and he's helped me through so much including a really bad break up last summer.... Over winter break and before he would text me everysingle day and it honestly felt like he liked me but I was too scared to say anything about it. After winter break his friends and mine started to joke with him saying we liked eachther and what not and when I would talk to him about it he'd say stuff like "wow" or "tell them theyre being stupid" never "that's not true". Lately though he doesn't act the same. I have to start the conversation every single day but then later in the conversation if I don't reply he'll get mad. And he always seems really into talkingto me. I felt like I was being annoying though so I apologized to him. What he didnt know was that that ex that was horrible to me is trying to get me back and I knee I cant go back with him but I wanted to! I can't go through all the details just know I CAN'T go back to my ex, I can't put myself through that kind of pain again and it's takn me a long time to realize this... Even though i still want him. And my guy friend is the only person I can talk and not think about or want to talk to my ex... What's up with that?? I told my guy friend this. And I told him I'm not really sure what it means and he just laughed and was like "you're crazy. I havent noticed you being annoying at all. And hun I know you can handle him by yourself you don't need me as much as you think you do" and yeah... I still text him every single day and we hang out every weekend (in a group most of the time). He's so amazing and He makes me so happy and I can't stand not being around him... He asked me last night of it was weird that he danced with this freshman girl at our last dance/thought she was really hot. And it kind of almost broke my heart... Hahaha even though I talk about hot guys with him (and he does get mad about that haha) I felt myself getting sooo jealous. I don know what to do. I know I'm gonna break down today and text him but I can't keep doing this but I can't handle things without him! (guy friend is 16/m ex is 17/m both juniors. I am 15/f sophomore) by the way he HATES my ex boyfriend. (link)
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Honey, I honestly don't see your big problem! Except for the fact that your ex wants you back. Yeah, that must be crappy, but it's your decision. You get to chose whether you want your ex or not! Listen, you've got this real amazing best guy friend, the kind that girls like me just dream of and he cares about you. He takes care of you, you tell each other everything and you have an ex who's dying to have you back. Tell me, wheres the big problem in that? I'm somehow realizing that you keep talking about how your scared that you're annoying, and that you need your friend so much, and how you wanted to go back with your ex although the relationship was bad and that u can't handle things without your best guy friend. It seems to be that you have some serious self worth problems. Your convincing yourself that you are nothing without your best friend, and how you can't do anything without him when you really can! I'm sorry, but what's wrong with you? Even your best friend is telling you that you don't need him as much as you think you do. Stop thinking that you can't do anything or be anything! I mean seriously! I'm not saying stop hanging out with your guy friend, or stop texting, I'm not saying that at all! But girl, you need to learn some self respect. You are a strong and confident woman who can make her own decisions and doesn't need anyone to tell her she's great or not annoying or that she can do things by her self. And you gotta just be happy you got the great guy friend, not every girl has that. so stop with the unnecessary drama! You don't need your ex! And you shouldn't have a best guy friend because you need one, but because you want one. It should be a choice, not a necessity! Your 15 for god sakes, you've got your whole life in front of you. And if you ever want to make it, you've got to believe in yourself. Trust me, you'll do yourself and your guy friend a favor, if you learn to be confident and independent! It's sad to see a woman who thinks so little of herself, it probably hurts your guy friend too! You deserve the best, you can be the best and you've got to believe that!
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Rating: 5
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I know you're right... but its hard. See that's basically exactly why things ended so horribly with my ex. When we started dating I was strong and confident and happy with myself. After a few months of dating he basically owned me... he had me so whipped and I didn't even see it happening! He was abusive... which I suppose is part of it. He wouldn't hit me but he'd hold me down and slap me and he forced fingering on me and tried to force me to give him a hj and that's when we broke up... it was horribel even after we were apart! he told everyone we had sex (which isn't true!) and that I put out and would do anything he said when he said it... he spread a lot of rumors and I got tormented for them by him and his two friends. Sometimes it would go beyond words... Because I was so owned by him, when we broke up I had no idea who I was anymore. I've basically had to start all over again. So I guess maybe that should of been my question after I've told you all of this... Hahah well thank you anyway, because you basically answered it. Thanks for that :)
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