Member Since: January 1, 2010
Answers: 5
Last Update: January 3, 2010
Visitors: 1121
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I'm a 17/f dating an 18/f and we've been together for more than 4 months. I love her, I really do.. but sometimes I think it's not healthy to love her this much. Whenever I'm away from her I wonder about what she's doing and where she's at. Is she at home? Is she sleeping? Is she on facebook? Is she eating? Watchig t.v.? Things like that. I really miss her when she's away from me and I go crazy or something because I can't talk to her and start thinking about all the possibilities that she could be out with someone else. I know that this is my insecurity and I wish she could reassure me that I'm the only one in her heart and I don't want to have to ask her. Our parents don't know that we're together, but we think that they might have some clues. My mother asked me to help her cook some food for a bit and she gave me a talk about boyfriends and her gay friend who had to work hard since she was with a girl that was lazy and stuff like that. I don't think my gf's lazy but I'm also afraid to fall into that kind of lifestyle that my mom's gay friend lived. My mom's friend worked 2 jobs and overtime, idk and she bought two houses for her gf only for her family to take her away. I think it's natural to be attached to someone when you love them, but I feel this gap inside me or something, Idk.. it's a feeling that I don't want. It's not bad not seeing each other for after while because when we do see eachother we laugh like crazy even over something that we wouldn't normally laugh at. But when we're apart I feel really lonely and I don't want to be with anyone but her. Not only that, but I feel this when it hasn't even been 6 or 7 hours away from her yet. I guess for me it's because being around her and hearing her voice makes me more happy and it just makes me laugh even more. I think I'm just really insecure about this because the last girlfriend I had was out with someone and I caught her having sex with a guy on a picnic table. Sometimes I think that by being with her, I'm hurting her too because.. really what I can do for her? I'm 5'2 and I can barely take care of myself.. I stay indoors more than go out to the mall and stuff because walking around and seeing so many people makes me tired. I want her to have fun too. (link)
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i'm in a relationship like that, and i always checked my girlfriends best friend's (like 238964 of them) facebook and stuff to make sure my girlfriend wasn't cheating on me or doing drugs or anything. i used to wonder like you did about what she was doing and where she was.
honestly sweetie you need to find things to do, make a list of chores or things that need to be done, or what you want or have always wanted to try. just to get your mind off of her when you just finished hanging out. something that takes the mind away from thinking about her. because of your past relationship with the girl who slept with that guy, you just NEED to remember that was HER, your PAST girlfriend. your CURRENT girlfriend is somebody COMPLETELY different. it's unfair to put that on your current girlfriend because of something in the past.
it sounds like you have is a trust issue, and it's ABSOLUTELY understandable. my life story is just like yours. honestly, you HAVE to learn to trust your girlfriend if you truly love her and care about her because if you don't your relationship will end. and i'm serious. no relationship can work out if you guys don't trust each other. talk it out with your girlfriend and you talk to her about trust and your relationship as a whole, just what you guys think you can improve on and how you can. tell her how you feel, and if she loves you you and her will both work it out together. a relationship takes two people, not one. so for all you know she worries just as much as you do. i hope i helped. :(.
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Rating: 5
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Thanks, it's nice to know that there really are others out there that share the same problems. && It has been crossing my mind a couple of times that if I kept doubting her like that our relationship would be bad and I do know that they are two different people. Sometimes it's just that you learn from first experience and it sticks with you, but I guess it wasn't a good experience [with my ex-girlfriend], so I should throw it out. I realized that I need to find other things to do when I'm not around her and I've been looking for a job for a while now, and I'm looking for things related to my career so I can get a head start on. Thanks a lot for your advice, just letting you know that I'm making steps towards trusting her more and feeling not so empty when we're apart =]
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