Q: Hi,
I am 17f. I have an older bro whos 19, a jerk,an asshole,a verbal abuser,and a player. He got my only friend (who obviously wasn't my friend) to turn against me,decide to backstab and lie to me, so he could date her. He now sucks faces with her in front of me when he comes home on weekends,flirts,and sometimes has sex with her in the basement (eww..). Lets just say I don't have any respect for either of them.. but my mom AND my sister totally love this girl. My mom treats her like the favorite daughter she never had (at first I thought it was my sister who was the favorite since shes the baby but now im not so sure..), listens to her more than she ever does me, invites her over for supper consistantly, and invites her to all our family gatherings. I can't stand having this girl who did all these horrible things to me being treated so nicely by my family of all people. No matter what I say or what I feel,it goes in one ear of my mom and goes out the other.
Just the other day,my brother was verbally abusing me to the point of extreme frustration. He called me an 'asshole,bitch,dumbass' etc (he is an immature child who plays killing video games for eight or more hours when he is home). I decided to say something to defend myself. I said 'stop being hater' and his response was: grabbing my arm hard,twisting,leaving a bruise on it,and laughing. It really hurt and because of being tired and a bit depressed from being verbally abused constantly,I realized I was going to break down,went to the bathroom and started crying in front of the mirror. Its just frustrating when all of this happens on a regular bases.. I went to the bathroom because I know that if he sees me with a tear he will just verbally abuse me more,then i will be more sad,my mom will find out,give him heck,then he will come after me again (saying Im a tattler and such).
So, this is a day later.. My arm is a little sore when I move it, I can feel the bruise as I type. It is not bad, but I feel as if this is not necissary at all. The thing is I can't really do anything without being attacked because everyone is on his side cause hes older (except my mom,who he hardly listens to).
Heres my main problem though: This Saturday, I booked off work to go to my grandmas for our family christmas, and my mom made sure that my asshole brother is coming and my 'so called' friend is (of course) totally invited too. You do not know how much hurt I feel inside of me just looking at her or him. There is this deep balled up feeling within my chest that says 'im frustrated' all the time when they are here. The problem I have with her is that I really need loyalty in my life. I have had no other friends besides her (I have grown up with kidney failure), and seeing such mistrust is killing me. I am a very loyal,honest person. I know I should let it go,try to ignore,and move on..but when its living in your day to day life,how do you excape it? I really don't want to go to this christmas thing,because for the last couple years I have been getting this same balled up feeling whenever I even have to be in the same room as them. They are the definition of betrayal.. and that is an ultimate no in my world.
More than anything I need someone whom I can trust.. and who will love me. I don't know if I should go to this gathering.. I will be going back to my grandmas anyhow a few days after that during the holidays for several days.. but I don't know if I can ride four hours this saturday in a vehicle with my brother and 'her' sucking faces,my sister cheering them on,and my mom. Its just a frustrating situation. Do you see where I am coming from? Should I go? Please help
