Member Since: December 6, 2009
Answers: 3
Last Update: December 6, 2009
Visitors: 689
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15/f
(Sorry, it's long. The last paragraph has the actual question--the first paragraph is just the backround story)
Okay, I know I'm kind of young to be saying this but about two years ago I fell in love. Not teenage girl crush type of love, the real love. I fell in love with my best friend. We were friends since I was nine and he was ten. When I turned 13 we started growing feelings towards each other. Last year, on my 14th birthday, he asked me to be his g/f and, of course, I was ecstatic and said yes. We fell in love. I couldn't go one day (literally) without hearing his voice. He was my whole life. He was everything too me. I knew he was the one, there was (is) no life or happiness without him. Last year on the first day of summer, he gave me a promise ring and told me that no matter what I would be his love. I was so happy with him. I felt like my life was complete before it even started. I turned 15 and things were going great until he told me he was moving to new york. I couldn't stop crying. Every second I could spend with him was precious. Finally, he moved and I felt like my life was temporarily over (I knew he would come back for me someday). On september 22 I got a really sweet email. I had to leave so I didn't have time to reply. The next night, I went back to my emailing list to reply when I saw an email from his brother. I opened it first.
He died, Sep. 23 at approximatly 9:23 PM. It felt like my heart stopped beating. I thought Every one told me things would get better, time heals everything. Things have gotten better, externally. But internally, it finds worse every second without him. Like I'm falling and every one that's around me is just watching. I don't know what to do. I've been on a few dates but there is no guy that I am attracted to. It's not that they aren't attractive, but they aren't him. What do I do? I don't want to tell anyone because I don't want to stop hurting emotionally--the pain is the only thing I have left--but I want to be able to like a guy or even just form some kind of relationship with a guy. Can anyone please help me? (link)
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for me when i am hurt just crying it out helps. im sorry for your loss.
The movie P.S. I love you is sorta like your story so maybe watching that movie would help out out a bit. in the end she accepts that he is gone and slowly moves on.
If that doesn't work i suggest talking to a friend who is willing to just sit there and listen. Then talk it out. talk about how great he was, everything that reminds you about him. just sit there and think about him until you cant. then slowly let go of some of the memories. put them in the back of your head and take it slow.
for dating just start off by befriending different guys and enjoying their company for just them. take it reallllly slow then when the time is right, take bigger steps.
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