I have been through and experienced much. Though the years in my life are few, the life in my years is great. I am told by many I give sage advice.
I love people. I love listening too people. I love helping. I love knowing I might have helped a little bit.
I ask you too be as detailed as possible in your questions too me. Relationships, life, confusion, whatever it may be I will do my best to simply care. To step in your shoes and try to imagine what I would do in your situation. I can't promise my imagination will come close to what you're actually going through, but I will do my best. I write a lot so please, expect long responses to your questions.
Just know that I will care. Even if you don't want advice and just would like a listening ear, let me know. I'm here for you.
-Ashley
Gender: Female
Location: Lake Powell, UT/AZ
Occupation: Private Piano and Music Lessons Teacher
AIM: SandFaerieAshes
Yahoo: littlerankinrox@yahoo.com
MSN: lakepowellgirl08@hotmail.com
Member Since: November 11, 2009
Answers: 2
Last Update: November 11, 2009
Visitors: 1392
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My boyfriend of 10 months broke up with me last week. At first it was almost unbearable and I was a total wreck. But the second day I knew I had to talk to him, so I did. The number one reason he broke up with me is because he said that his love for me had disappeared. He was in love with me at one point, but somehow he just doesn't feel that way anymore. He just sees me as a friend. This part I understand.
BUT i don't understand what he means by me not "really acting like a girlfriend". I mean, I would try to. I kissed him in public, hugged him, told him I loved him, made him gifts, held his hand, and spent most of my time with him. I thought I was doing an okay job, but apparently he says that I'm "not capable of having a relationship". But he says that he doesn't want me to change for him. But I'm still wondering what he meant. Any ideas? :/
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Honey-
First. I think it was wonderful and brave you went and talked too him. It's hard thing to get up the guts and show a little courage when broken hearted.
About the way he said his love disappeared for you: I think with every relationship that we come in and out of and through the broken hearts.. we should not take the relationships that didn't work out as a failure on our part, or anyone's part. Take it as being given a chance to start over new and find the someone that you will be with forever. Because if you were meant to be with that person, you still would be. And if you weren't.. and you stayed with them still.. you would spend your life without that One you were meant for and instead be miserable.
Each relationship we come out of is one step closer toward finding who we will love forever, one more chance to be with that person.
Now about your case in particular....
From what I can tell.. it sounds like he fell out of love with you like he said and he's trying to place guilt on you. If he's being honest and giving constructive criticism.. I guess all I can say is that if he's right and you weren't being a good girlfriend,
a relationship is definitely more than physical commitment or time spent together. It's a mental, spiritual, and heartfelt commitment two people make. It's responding, helping, understand, listening, paying attention too the person you're with,
asking questions, learning of one another, discovering and learning more every day:
not just a public show of affection,
or trying to spend time together. It's what you do with your heart when you are with that someone, and if you are in love:
what you are doing with that heart of yours and how you're responding is definitely felt by him. And if he didn't feel those things from you, All I can say is too work in that area in your next relationship or if you get back together with him.
Best wishes.
Hope I've helped.
-Ashley
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Rating: 5
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Everything you said is what I think he felt, I think you are right in every way. Thank you for helping me. Honestly, I'm in this state of letting him go but still holding so many fond memories of him, my first love. I love him now. I can't deny that though I'm trying to. I just need time. Thanks again
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