about

Well i don't really like doing 'about me' bits, so all I'll say is that I want to help as much as I can, and I think i'm quite good at seeing things from the perspective of others, a characteristic, I've always believed, to be essential when giving good advice. Feel free to ask me anything you like =)

*I've added my email, should be somewhere on my page and if anyone recieves advice from me and just wants to ask more about their problem or what they've said, they can ask me through that if they prefer =)

advice

Firstly, I am 15 and female. And my life is good right now, so I don't know why I would be sad but, anyways, this is my problem (please read, I know its long)...

I was looking through my previous questions from a couple years ago, and I realised I felt very sad at that period of time.
Then I went through a good phase, for more than a year.
Now I seem to be having the same feelings I had a couple years ago.
First was 7th grade, I was feeling lonely and depressed, next would've been the end of 8th grade, and now I am feeling the same in 10th grade.
It has come VERY sudden, A few weeks ago I was happy, now I have cried my self to sleep, held back tears when sad about nothing, hated my self and hated everyone and hated my life all in just a week.

The most recent sadness started about... last Thursday, then I was happy on the weekend (a bit angry, but happy), now I am sad again...
I am thinking it is school, but it feels like it might be a bit more serious.


Anyways, I heard that when u are depressed u get sad for a while, then you go happy, then sad, and it coninues for the rest of you life.
Do you think I have depression, or its just a sad time in my life, or its hormones?

I really hope I don't have depression, please help and dont hold back the truth :)

Thanks,
-Nat

Honestly,I don't believe you have depression but there is obviously something causing these feelings so maybe you just have to figure out what they are. There are usually two things which can cause you to feel like this. Either you aren't comfortable with yourself or else there is something subconciously frustrating and upsetting you.
Being uncomfortable with yourself can cause feelings such as those you are having because you feel like you aren't really doing what you feel is right, just what is neccessary to fit in and so it can feel like you are cheating yourself. So first of all I would try and figure out how comfortable you are with yourself, how well you know yourself and if you are really living a life that on surface that may seem happy and fun but is in fact against what you really want. To do this I would recommmend following some of the ideas from this link (http://www.innerworkspublishing.com/news/vol7/awareness.htm) which i actually found on another thread of this site so the credit should go to KayMay719 who originally suggested it to someone else.
If there i something that is subconciously upsetting you then this can either be discovered by talking over your day with someone or else writing out the days events and how they made you feel on a regular basis because in doing this you will start to see patterns emerging and perhaps you will find that on each occassion you have found yourself unhappy, there has been a occurence on each of these days or weeks which has led to the unhappiness and then you can either remove whatever it is that is making you unhappy from your life or else deal with it in some way. To do this I would recommend starting a blog or a journal or something similar because it takes very little effort and is useful if there is nobody around to talk to.
This may seem like a strange suggestion, but exercise of any form is a great way to get rid of depressing feelings. I know that when ever i'm feeling a bit down going out for a run or a jog always helps because it clears my mind. Exercise also means that you will become less lazy or tired (not saying you are of course) all the time and that is often when depression sinks in, when we are not feeling at our healthiest.
Finally, one thing that is key to getting rid of such feelings is to get out of your own head. By this i mean stop overthinking things, which is very tough at first but everytime you get worried or upset about anything and all these thoughts start to fire into your head at a million miles an hour about how everything is wrong, like is usually the case with depressing feelings, then just say NO i will not think about this. The reason this is so hard is because often depressing feelings often become like a comfort zone in that it is naturally easier to be depressed than it is to be happy. So what you need to do is get out of the routine of going into negative thoughts, just keep saying NO.
It is difficult to get out of the way of feeling like this but trust me if you can keep going for a couple of weeks at first and really force yoruself to be more positive (and if you do have negative feelings to get them out straight away) then it will become more and more natural.

I hope you feel better regardless of whether you follow these ideas =)

Mike

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(Rating: 5) thank you for all the information, I think i will start writing in a diary and trying to figure out what makes me sad :)
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