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advice

Male, mid 20's.

I'm not going to bore with details. Over half a decade ago, I met my first love, who after barely a year, tore my heart out and broke my confidence in myself. I attempted to repair the bond to at least be friends, with horrible results.

I thought I was past it all, but recent I ended up seeing her again, and it reopened the old wounds. More than half a decade since it happened, and I'm still hurt when I am either reminded of the past, or placed in a situation where I re-encounter her.

I'm starting to worry that I'm not well in the mind. I mean, I should be over it. And yet, this scar on my heart keeps getting ripped open at the slightest chance involving anything that reminds me of the past. Why can't I stop feeling hurt by this?

there is nothing wrong with you, hun. it sounds to me you haven't had the chance to have some closure with her and it's always tough to get over your first love. you're reminded of the past because whenever you see her, you associate her with all the bad things that you've experienced which is completely normal. although it may be hard you have two choices:

1. as difficult as it is, try and maybe meet with her. somewhere casual, like getting coffee and just talk things out and why things didn't work out and why she felt the way she did. letting your emotions out will definitely help the healing process. after that, give it a few days or weeks and see how you feel. as soon as you feel well enough, go out and have some fun with friends!

or

2. just cut off all contact with her completely. assuming you already haven't, get rid of her emails, texts, phone number, anything she bought you or anything that reminds you of her, pictures, etc. it'll help the moving on process and who knows, you could start forgetting about her if she's not everywhere you go.

best wishes to you

[view]

(Rating: 3) Sadly, option 1 never worked, and option 2 has become impossible.
Thanks anyway.
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