Gender: Female
Location: Currently.. Melbourne
Occupation: Dance instructor
Member Since: January 3, 2009
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Last Update: January 24, 2009
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same girl who asked you about this guy and his ex getting in the way.
I was talking to a friend who is best friends with him and his friend said that he has known for a while that i like him. This changed everything n made me act weird around him when he was trying to flirt, bc i wouldnt flirt back which is not like me. I guess the fact that he knows is scaring me off bc i know he still loves his ex. (they dated for 15mos)...i dont like the fact that im #2 and that he jus flirts with me knowing i like him but yet he still wants his ex and is not lookin to find anyone else. Im not looking for a boyfriend but i want to be open to whatever will happen. Im having a hard time dealing with the fact that hes sending me mixed feeling bc sometimes i think he likes me and sometimes i know he doesnt. what do i do?? do i need to talk to him bout this or just let it be? I am friends with his best friend should i talk to him about it? and ask if i should even stop trying or just go with it. We hung out last night but i found out that tonight they went to a movie together and im so jealous which is weird bc im not the jealous type. Im starting to think i like him more than i thought i did. why does he have to be in love with his ex? Are they gonna date agian before its really finally over? HELP! (link)
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Try and figure out first what exactly attracts him to his ex so much, is it her looks, personality (wether it's humour or carefree attitude etc..), or maybe suss out what she's giving him that's so damn great for him to fall head over heels for her.
Obviously when you date someone for that long, you do develop a different kind of emotion. A kind of emotion that doesn't easily go away just like that. But if you know how he's ex is, then ask yourself, are you prepared to be or are you his type of girl... remember, don't change who you are if it's not in you to begin with.
If he has already known about your feelings towards him from a while back, and is still flirting around with you but doesn't want anything more, then i'd say he's got some insecurity problems.
I don't think that he's that deeply in love with his ex, because if he was, he wouldn't be flirting with you. I think he wants to test out who wants to be with him more.. which is kind of a cruel game on your behalf.
He likes the attention and the admiration. He likes to feel special.
The only problem with that type of guys, is that they don't consider anyone elses feelings apart from their own insecurities.. remember key word.. insecurity!
you don't have to be a jealous type to be jealous. God knows, it's a natural part of being a human, if you didn't have that for someone that you like, then i'd think something is really wrong with you or you just don't like him enough to be jealous!
Remember, it's not you being jealous for no particular cause.. it's him making you jealous with his actions.
He;s not secure with his emotions, how would he make you feel secure? think about that!
I don't think you should talk to a third party, especially his best mate. it's tempting alright, but his best mate would always protect him and it's not uncommoon for them to lie through their teeth.
i think the best way would be to let him know the next time you do spend time together that you really like his company, but you have a few quieries on mind. Ask him casually whats happening with his ex and whether he thinks theres a chance of him getting back together with her. if he denies it uncomfortably, then joke and say "cumon! who am i to you? (don't wait for an answer and continue with..) i'm a friend to you right? and friends talk about these type of things.. you know that i have feelings for you and that i like you, but you need to know whats happening in your life so i can make an honest decision about you."
Don't worry about how he'd react, just make it clear to him. When he goes home that night.. gareenteed that he'll be thinking about what you have said to him.
then he'll start thinking "what does she mean by honest decision" "why is she saying that? maybe i might loose her if i don't get my act together"
all these questions would be running through his head no doubt!
it'll never be FINAlLy over, if you keep supressing all these inside, it'll just keep dragging on, at least you would knnow if you had a chat with him.
because hun, the worst feelling is to not know and sit around and wait. FOR WHAT? a guy that doesn't know what he wants? give him a chance to explain now, or he can forever hold his mistake, because you are not that type to hang onto someone that's gonna brush you off and hurt you and not feel any remorse for it.
let me know what you think.
miracle89
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Rating: 5
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thats the best advice i have ever gotten for this subject. It's gonna help so much! cant wait to try it out. thankss!!
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