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When you have been with someone for such a long time (4 yrs is relatively long) it is always difficult because you have so many memories together. In a sense you are going through a process of reprogramming your mind and body to focus on you and your life without him. He was there for a long time, so its like getting along in life with some pieces missing, but you absolutely can do it. Some days will be very difficult in the beginning, but it will get easier. I suggest to you that you start by doing what you did on this forum which is acknowledge your feelings and your hurt. Hiding from your feelings always tends to backfire and those feelings come out with a vengence.
With that being said, if you feel the need to cry..cry! you have to go through the experience and mourn your loss of the relationship. Once that period is over you need to focus on doing things to make you feel whole again. Do things you used to do that make you feel like you. Hang out with friends, treat yourself to pedicures and dress up. You will feel pretty and maintain your confidence. Lastly, when you feel you are ready you want to start dating again. You don't wanna invest your energy where you have none, so take it slow at first. You can't replace your ex but you can possibly do better and have fun or find love again down the road. So, if you hear a song on the radio that reminds you of your ex, don't turn the station, just get through it and you will become more desensitized as time goes on. The pain seems like it will never end right now, but in your future you will look back and it will be a memory. You will move on and enjoy things and laugh again. Who knows why he didi what he did,but it doesn't matter. All that matters is you. Don't hinder your happiness because of a decision someone else made for you.
Good Luck & hang in there :)
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