Q: this is a short part of my novel that i would like some feedback on. like i'm just wondering, does it make sense?here it is :
The next thing she knew, she was so close to him she could smell his Armani Acqua Di Gio cologne. Scott’s hands were holding her hips, and she was moving her hips into his. His head was over her shoulder and their cheeks were touching. She loved being this close to him, and decided she wanted to stay like this forever. Britney Spears’ ‘Break the Ice’ was playing as she placed her hands on top of his and they linked fingers.
“Ooh, looks like we’re alone now,” the lyrics played, but she could only wish they were really alone. She turned her head towards his so their faces were only an inch apart. He stared into her eyes with a passionate look, and she started to close her eyes and touch her lips to his. Despite all of the people around them and the pounding beat of the music, she felt like they were the only 2 people in the room.
okay that's it. can you tell that they're grinding or does the dancing part not make sense? like the part when i wrote his head was over her shoulder and their cheeks were touching does anyone understand what i mean by that? like can you understand it by reading that? thanks.

Rating: 5

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