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I'm insert name. I've been on this site for a couple of years.

I love: playing music, reading, and Jolly Ranchers.

I hate: purple, avocados, and cults.

I tell: the truth.

advice

A girl from my school and her boyfriend just died in a car wreck. They were 16 and 17. For some reason, though I didn't know them personally, this really makes me sad. I did know one of her best friends though, so I just sent a little "I'm sorry" to her through email. I'm sure she already has a lot of those. There was also a bulletin posted in her memory asking everyone to re-post it and ave a moment of silence for her. I didn't feel like reposting it, but a lot of people did. Well, I got a reply from my "I'm sorry". The friend got really mad at me and said I didn't even know this girl and everyone should stop acting like they did. Now, I know she must be going through a lot of pain, but is really that bad for me to say I was sorry? She also posted a bulletin on myspace this morning about how no one knew the girl like she did and everyone should stop pretending like they cared. I really don't want to start something, and I know what she's going through (I've had family deaths and severe injuries related to car accidents), but this is sounding a little rude to me. I mean, if I were to die, or a friend were to die, I would want people to care. Please help me understand, why in the world this girl is hating everyone for caring?

The only answer is that some people go through grief differently. You know in your heart that you meant well, and this girl is just having trouble accepting what has happened. Don't let her make you feel bad for giving her support.

Almost two years ago, a girl that was in my group of friends died. At her funeral, there was a chick who wanted to sing. So this girl gets up in a glittery, inappropriate cocktail waitress outfit and completely makes a show out of it. It was disrespectful, but nobody said anything. Then, at the one year memorial, she did the exact same thing, and nobody said anything to her. I'm still not sure if that's just her way of showing grief (because she didn't really know my friend that died), but it's anyone's place to judge the way she acts in a time of tragedy.

So the moral of this story is that you just have to grin and bear it. The girl that you emailed is making a fool of herself, just like the girl that sang did. But if you say anything, then people will consider you the rude one. It's a hard situation, but the girl you're talking about is going to get over her hate eventually (even if it's not for a long time) and be grateful that people reached out to support her.

I think her problem is that she's grieving and doesn't want to have to deal with all the attention at the same time. Regardless, you did nothing wrong and you shouldn't have been treated like that- but you'll just have to grin and bear it. She's grieving in her own way, which is fine, but allow her to do so.

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(Rating: 5) Ok thanks :) I think I understand now.
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