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I'm insert name. I've been on this site for a couple of years.

I love: playing music, reading, and Jolly Ranchers.

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advice

Hi. I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 21. We have been together for a year and 4 months now. When we first got together, I remember him telling me about how his neighbor would beat his wife all the time, and he said this with admiration in his voice. I asked him if he thought it was okay to hit a woman, and he said yeah.
He does have anger problems, and the least little thing would set him off.

He used to tell me not to come to his house unless his cousin was with me, and one time I did go without his cousin and he huffed and puffed and balled up his fists, and turned sharply and walked away...later on he told me that he was going to knock me across the yard...he would always tell me how badly he wished he could put his hands on me and put me in my place. One time I was standing outside his car, and he hurt me by pulling my arm halfway through the window and pushing down on it from inside. But he never hit me.

But now he's taking medicine to control his temper and things are much better, and it's like he's a different person. But not long ago, I went to a friend's house, Don, to do his hair, and my boyfriend followed me there and hit the gas and kept speeding past the house, back and forth like a maniac. Then he called everyone he knows and got them to call me to tell me how much he was sorry, etc.

Another thing is that one night he took my cell phone from me and went through it and started calling numbers he didnt know, accusing me of cheating. When I tried to get the phone back, he almost hit me. Then he cornered me, grabbed my face tight, and told me that I had better not be cheating on him.

I'm afraid of him, so when he does things like that, I just lower my head. Then, when we're on the phone the next day, he laughs about how scared of him I was. Now he's told me that he doesnt want me to talk to Don at all anymore, even though I've told him constantly that we're just friends. And to top it off, he's trying to get me pregnant. I've told him I don't want kids right now, but he keeps 'forgetting' condoms or takes them off when I'm not looking. He has actually told me that he wants me to have his baby so that I can't leave him.

He's really a sweet person, and compared to what I went through when we first started dating, our relationship is peaceful now. But now that we're supposed to be living together soon, I'm worried that he might change and go back to his old ways. Call me crazy, but we have a great relationship when he's not angry, and I don't want to leave...I've tried leaving him in the past, but he cries and begs for me to come back. Since he's been taking his medicine the only time he gets really mad is when he thinks I'm cheating or something.

How high is the chance that he's going to become physically abusive in the future? Would this already be considering abuse or controlling behavior? Any thoughts/advice is appreciated. Thanks!

Holy shit, whoa. Look, there's no need for me to read past the first paragraph. If this guy thinks it's okay to hit a woman, he is WRONG. You should never feel like you deserve to be hit by a man.

How high is the chance that he's going to become physically abusive in the future? Honey, it's inevitable. If he's acting this crazy right now, there's no question about it. Physical abuse isn't the only kind of abuse. Just by telling you that he wants to hit you, etc, is mental abuse. Do not put up with it for one second.

Would this already be considered abuse or controlling behavior? YES. This man is not right for you if he scares you!

My ultimate advice is to get far, far away from this guy. Even if he's a sweet person, he does not deserve you. I mean, I don't feel the need to explain to you why you need to leave him because you basically outlined it in your question. Do what's right for YOU and leave him, even if you have to move back in with your parents. This honestly worries me, and I hope that you make the right decision.

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