about

I'm a qualified colour therapist and I'm doing a course in psychotherapy and councelling. i have the letters SNHS after my name which means i have a diploma from The School of Natual Health Sciences.
I have life experience in mental health, agoraphobia,bullying,parents divorce.


advice

I can't talk on the phone without shaking or driving myself nuts beforehand. I can't communicate with people without sweating or anxiety attacks..it takes me about 15 minutes to work up a hello in a social situation...and when someone doesn't reply or acknowledge it, the awkwardness fills me up and tears me up. I cry a lot over this. Hysterically. I can't be left by myself in any social situations. Usually, I'd have my dad or mom walk with me, get me into programs, register me, talk with my teachers, etc. I've been raised like that for the past 10 years now. I'm in this comfort zone and when I'm tossed out there in the real world, I can't project my voice, I can't go a day without someone going "aww, she's so shy," I can't go a day without disappointment. I feel like I need my parents to lead me and take me by the hand. And I push myself, like..go out there, knock..say hello...say it loudly. I do it and then I feel like I'm a failure. I feel like crying. I mess up relationships with my friends because I like being by myself more than with them. And then I regret it. I don't know what to do. I'm SIXTEEN. And I feel like I'll NEVER be able to communicate with people. I get on with the friends that I have left...but when I talk to teachers or any authority figures, I feel as if I subconsciously put on an act...with a lowered, innocent voice (as if my parents beat and starve me at home..) and I talk like please, please don't hurt me teacher...with closed eyes or something. What can I do?
16/f :(

I have exactly the same thing, it's called social phobia/social anxiety. Mine is so bad that i have panic attacks when it comes to even seeing my own family. I had to ring up a shop today and i had a panic attack on the phone.

There is help available though, it's a treatable fear but it does need treating otherwise you'l end up like me, with no friends and losing that closeness with your family.

I know how difficult it is for you but see your gp and tell him how you feel, dont miss anything out. you should be referrd to a child therapist (it's usually cognative behioural therapy), and because your refferd it means you dont have to pay.
There are tablets for anxiety but those are usually a last resort, especially since you are so young.

I cant really help you in getting over it as im still suffering with mine but ive learnt now to never give up.
If we have family around stay in the room with them as long as possible, but they know if i need a breather then i can go and have my space and then come back.

I always have a drink with me whereever i go as it help the icky feelings that you get with panic.
I would also strongly reccomend aromatherapy oils which you can buy at health shops and online. ones are are for panic and calming nerves, lavander oils are really good for that. You can buy t it little roll on's or tiny bottles so you can carry them round.

Whenever i have family over i put a ton of lavander on my wrists and smell my salts.

I'd just like to say Welldone though, welldone for not giving up, yes it effects your life in such a huge way but please dont give up and isolate yourself, ive been there and it was the worst time of my life.

if you want to email me or need any more advice i'd be more that happy to help you (just send me a private message on here) :-)

Chakra Xxxxxxx

[view]

(Rating: 5) thank you so so much for the advice. i'll try everything you said and ill let you know soon. im really glad im not the only one and i appreciate everything you said :) good luck to you as well
<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker