about

I'm a 19 yr old mainly agnostic ex philosophy student with rather strong views about a lot of things. I'm very liberal, love the diversity I live in in London and hate that America hasn't separated church from state.
I'm engaged to the love of my life, but agree it is a little bizarre to get engaged at 18.
I'm confident, quite literally crazy, caring and crippled. My manual wheelchair is called Sebastian and he gets scared when he goes too fast, my electric is called Jermaine (after the Flight of the Conchords character) and he really does not like ice.
I can read Braille and I know basic sign language because I believe everyone should be given equal chances. I dislike it that money doesn't have Braille on it.
I'll do my best to help out with your situations, I've been in and seen many a family conflict, I've had my fair share or love life crises, I've had about every illness known to man (could tell you a lot of amusing stories about psychiatric wards) and I'm "The Queen of Hair Dye" so hopefully I'll have some idea about advice. If it looks like I don't give lots of advice, it's because I only advise on things I know about. I also detest poor spelling and grammar so although having dyslexia makes me a bit hypocritical about this.

advice

I'm a worthless human being. I've been a worthless human being for a pretty long time, but I've just now come to accept it.

I've decided I want to die. However, I'm too much of a coward to go through with it. Perhaps it's the thought of pain, maybe it's the risk of failing at failing.

In any case, whatever some (Relatively) painless and (Relatively) reliable suicide methods, preferabley accessable to the common 20-something who doesn't work in a hospital?

Most ways of killing yourself are going to be painful.
I don't necceserily agree with you wanting to kill yourself but I do believe you should have the choice. If you go to switzerland (I believe) Euthinasia is legal and is done by lethal injection which is the most humane way of killing someone.

If you go for that, you will be subject to a mental health assesment, which I would suggest anyway. I know you have accepted being 'worthless' but I would really suggest talking to your doctor about how you feel, even if its for more ideas.

I have suffered from severe depression and I know how it feels to think that you are worthless, but you can come out of it. I know thats not what you want to hear but you only live once and you might as well try to feel better by going to the doctor, and if it doesnt work, you've got nothing to lose.

Also, if its being worthless that you feel, why not do something to feel more useful to society. Volenteer to help people who can't do things themselves. Who can't help themselves. Even if you help one person, I know from experience (I am a wheelchair user) someone who really wants to help you, even if they aren't successful can make someone who needs help so happy just that theres some humanity in people.

If you would like to talk to someone, I'll listen without judging.

Take care, or have a happy end if thats what you choose.

[view]

(Rating: 4) Thanks for your response. Although it doesn't really help my situation much, since I'm in California and nearly broke so getting to Switzerland is a bit out of the question.

This isn't a depression problem. I know depression, and it's a feeling. It's transitional. It goes away, even though it feels like it may not. What I have is full-blown worthlessness. My life an my actions hold no value to myself or society. I take more than I give. I use without giving back, and I doubt there are enough people in need out there for me to help to change that.
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