about

My name is alix. I'm fourteen &i live just moved to massachusets. i love all of my closer friends; theyre my life. i like cats, and my favorite food is soanish rice. i like going to the movies with all my friends; we do it every friday. it's a routine. i love giving advice about guys, but what i really love are questions from guys about girls. im really opinionated, but im usually not very harsh when i answer things.

advice

16/f and I'm really like one of my best guy friends. The only problem is that he's in love with another girl. I can't just let my feelings go. I'm happy for him that he found somebody that he loves but I get all confused around him. What do I do?

It's probably not a good idea to go tell him how you feel just right now. You'll probably get a bad reaction. Instead, go somewhere alone with him, where you'll have privacy, so you can talk. Just chill for a while and then be like, "So, you like Hannah?" And just try to get him to talk about her. The things he likes, what he doesn't like, why he likes her. Because the thing is, he might not really like her. I don't know his relationship with her. But,
-If they're dating: He could have liked her before but the feelings are fading. He could act like he loves her because that's just what he thinks he should be doing. Maybe he just doesn't want to break up with her because she's a good girl, maybe he really wants to feel like he used to but the chemistry is just gone, maybe he's still going out with her because he likes having a girlfriend, or maybe he just thinks that he's lucky to have her, even if he doesn't like her. But just get him to open up.

-If they're friends: Maybe he really wants a girlfriend, and he thinks she'd be a perfect one. Maybe a lot of other guys like her, so he wants her because he wants to impress them, or he figures they must be right.

-If he barely knows her: She could just be really pretty, or have a reputation as perfect. He sees other guys swooning over her, or he just sees the part of her she shows everyone. He likes to look at her, and he thinks some things she does are cute, so he thinks that he loves her. He obsesses over her, almost. But he doesn't know her, and really pretty much can't love her.


So get him to open up. Gently ask some questions. But don't pry. Don't try to convince him that he doesn't like her, and don't try to tell him that he's wrong. When he starts talking, really opening up and talking, you'll probably get a sense of how he really feels. If you think he doesn't really like her, try to lead him to come to that conclusion on his own. But don't say anything outright. He needs to come to that conclusion by himself. If you try to convince him, he'll just get defensive and angry.
If you think he really does love her, then accept it. You don't necessarily have to move on, depending on your feelings. Do you love him? Because if you do, then you have to do what you think is best. Maybe tell him, and say, "Just putting that out there. You don't have to say anything," so that he doesn't feel pressure to respond. Accept if he doesn't love you. Or, you could just not tell him, and let him be. Be happy for him. It might hurt a little, but if it's love, then you just want whats best for him. Oh, and don't tell him you love him and then try to break up his relationships or get him to not like other girls. He'll get mad, and probably act like he likes the other girls more than he likes you (even if he doesn't).

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(Rating: 5) thanks I'll talk to him about how I feel :)
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