Hey everybody! I love to help people and I've been the designated advice-giver amongst my friends for years so I've gotten pretty good at it. If I haven't been through it, I know someone who has, so feel free to ask me anything! I just wish I had known about this site when I was younger and needed more advice of my own.
Gender: Female
Member Since: February 7, 2007
Answers: 168
Last Update: April 7, 2021
Visitors: 14381
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My best guy friend and I (16/f) have been getting in lots of fights, and it's because I'm so dependent on him. Well, ever since May I haven't been. I've been with other people, doing things, always busy, etc. I maybe hang out with him once a week, or two weeks. We never talk on the phone. But last night he went camping with 3 friends, and left me 3 voicemails. They're all talking about our friendship. He says things like, "I don't deserve a friend like you" and "you stick with me even though I treat you pretty poorly sometimes" and "i'd rather fight with you than anyone else" and "i feel like we're drifting, we need to hang out more". Yeah, that's just hitting the main things in each msg I guess.
What I'm asking is why did he do that? Why did he send msgs NOW about how he doesn't think he deserves me, and all the things I typed up there? You have to understand, I used to be very clingy, like, call him to see where he was, have to hang out with him like 4 times a week or more. Then for some reason in May, I felt he was drifting away from me (and I never want this) so I cut it out, and hung out with other people. I've barely talked to him, except yesterday, after I listened to his msgs. I just asked if he had anything else to say, etc, and he just said he wanted to talk to me about his problems. (Which is what he did in his msgs I guess) He also told me when I called him back, that he feels it was too late to be telling me all that. (I guess because we don't see eachother as much or something?) Honestly, he has treated me very badly, and I've always been the most loyal and greatest friend to him. I HAVE recently, in May, started to not care so much. I rarely even think about him, and I used to every minute of every day.
So yeah, if anyone can tell me why all of a sudden he actually CARES about our friendship now please tell me, haha. I just need anything you can say because I'm confused. (link)
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This is the oldest story in the book! Guys at your age (or really any age to be honest) are terrified of commitment. They get scared when girls are clingy. They get scared when they have feelings they can't handle.
It sounds like he really does like you (as a friend or maybe more) and just doesn't know how to handle it. Maybe with your time apart he realized what he had and now misses you. If you want to see him more then try to find a happy medium. Somewhere in between seeing him all the time and never seeing him. Maybe limit yourself to how many days you hang out with him in a week. You don't want to make yourself too available because A) he freaked out the last time you were always available and B) if he doesn't appreciate your friendship then he doesn't deserve to see you!
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