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March 14, 2004Answers:
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What's up? Well, I'm sure like each and every other advice columnist is that, we all enjoy giving advice . I like to keep things real and you'll find out how real when you ask me a question . I absolutely love helping people . Hollah at me sometimes !!! Oh, and yahoo me . Goodness sakes knows that I could do with the mail.
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A while ago (Nov 25th '06 to be exact...)I was at my sisters house. Shes 19, Im 14, and her boyfriend is 24. She decided that it would be super fun to get me drunk and it sounded like fun so i went along with it. And then her b/fs friend came over (call him John...) and he was nice and all. And then later when him and her bf were outside, she told me that 'John' wanted to make out with me...John was 20 years old...I was like...ew no hes old..but my sister insisted that it wasnt weird. So then later My sister and her bf went to sleep and it was just me and John...and i layed down on the couch and he was laying next to me and he asked "would it be wierd if i kissed you?" and i was like "yeah...i dont know" and he said "let me help you make up ur mind..." and he started kissing me and we started making out (im still drunk btw) and it got pretty intense and it realized how wierd it was (id never kissed, let alone made out, with anyone before...) so i got up and left. and ever since its been branded into my brain and im just haunted by it. BUT ANYWAY. Ever since, Ive been having dreams that i have older boyfriends and ive been attracted to older (18, 19, 20 y/o) guys and im just not sure what to do.
I want to forget whaat happened but i also want an older guy..is that wierd/???
Of course, it's natural that it feels weird, even to this day. You, I can tell, are morally inclined and you have principals that you stick by. That's good. You probably feel that you did something that was wrong, and it makes you slightly embarrassed, uncomfortable, and awkward to reminisce about it. In fact, I'd bet that you don't like to even remember this. You don't feel that it was wrong, or guilt intensely, but it's probably there, just a little tiny bit exceeding slight. Also, it's probably weird b/c you probably haven't kissed a lot before then. And, I believe you probably liked the kiss you had with the 20 year old fellah. It's nothing wrong with enjoying a kiss, and yes, there was a 6 year difference, but its not like you had sex with him. You did what you did, it's done, it's over with, and there's nothing you can do about that now. Subconsciously, you both made a decision, and when it comes to kissing and sex, it's important that once you make those decisions that you stick with them for that very reason. You've kissed him, there's nothing you can do about that, and you enjoyed it. That's not a crime. You can like guys that are older, just consider the law, the boundaries that you are willing or UNWILLING TO CROSS,and the coveted boundaries that MAY Want to be EXPLORED by one party or the other. It's weird, awkward , and that's natural. But that's the way it is and there's nothing you can do about that. It's done, and no ones going to burn you at the stake for it. Just be careful.
(Rating: 5) right on...its like..ur in my head or something...