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I'm a 23 year old girl ,my life has been a living hell since my parents left us ,this was 10 years ago (I was 13 )I was the oldest and as you can understand I was always the one who had to pull it togheter for my other sisters ..I lost almost my whole life doing this...,no good memories,only pain and sorrow .
I fully grow up by my self thanks to the power of God .
But now I live with my bf ,he is good to me .
But memories keep coming back to me ,sometimes I woke up in the middle of the night crying and it just go on and on .
I don't know why but I keep asking myself why they walked out on us like that ,It hurts like hell.
I don't have close friend because I'm afraid
I don't know why ..I have thousand of good friend and you could say I am very popular for making jokes ,organising nice school trip ,parties ,acting in stage plays etc etc and I really can give good advice but I really really can't have a close friend , the truth is I am even afraid to be close to my bf , I don't know why ......I feel so unhappy feeling this way
I feel like I'm in a lonely world , I feel depressed ,I barely sleep and I can't concentrate at school.
My sex life sucks ,just because I can't get in the mood because I cant't stand for people to get to close to me ,I just want it to be quick so he can get off me ,this is a really strange feeling I can't explain,
I love him but I can't explain this weird feeling and its not just with him .My ex broke up with me because I never did have sex with him..
All this is depressing for me ,I can't live like this any longer
I am really dying inside
help me ,I need advice
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I am only 18, and my father left when I was a small child, and then I grew up with an awful stepfather. I wont dare say I know exactly how you feel, but I have troulbe getting close to people too. The only thing I can tell you from the heart is that the same God who helped you grow up on your own, is still there and he will help you deal with this fear also, he and only he has brought me trough some tough personal times, and now I depend on him all thime time. That and finding someone that i could trust, to vent my frustrations too, has helped me get over alot of my depression and anxiety. Just trust and beleive and everything will work out for the best. Also, try to think about all the people who need you and depend on you. Always remember that somewhere in the world someone is thinking about you right now. You grew up and raised your siblings, and are in college- your parents should be kicking themselves in the ass for letting goof you and your siblings. They love you, and God does too. I hope that helped.
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