Hello everyone! My name is Lisa, I'm 15. I'm a freshman and I go to public school. I love to sing, read, watch tv, and I'm a big fan of Harry Potter. Most of my freinds come to me for advice because they know that they can depend on me and just because I am young does not mean I cant answer questions from older people who seek advice so please ask away!
Gender: Female
Location: Pennsylvania, United States
Occupation: student
Age: 14
Member Since: December 3, 2006
Answers: 65
Last Update: July 26, 2007
Visitors: 4752
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I am 20 years old and have been in a relationship for 5 years. I have been telling him for years that I really want to marry him. I knew he wasn't ready so I just kept telling him that I wanted a ring and we could have a long engagement. I was really hung up on getting a ring until recently when I realized I could wait and told him that I'd rather he just start saving so when we are ready it wouldn't be such a financial strain. I told him for our upcoming anniversary the only gift I would like is a receipt from the bank showing he deposited money in his savings account.
We just celebrated our 5 year anniversary with dinner at home in our pajamas. It was very casual so we were just going to watch a movie after dinner when he surprised me with a ring. I was shocked, to say the least. I didn't say anything at first and then just started saying oh my god over and over again. I said yes but didn't feel comfortable really. Then I thought about telling people and I got really uncomfortable, and he could tell. Long story short, we decided that I would keep the ring and when I'm ready I'll ask him to put it on me.
Here is my dilemma: I have watched my mother go through three divorces and has since settled with a man whom I don't believe she is truly happy with. I'm wondering if I'm destined to be like her. Will I end up divorced like her? Will I never find true happiness? Do I already have true happiness and not really realize it?
The other side of this is my father. He has been making comments for the past year about whether I'm missing out on a lot by being in a long term relationship so young. I'm worried that down the road I will regret it.
Do I have a great thing and I'm just spending too much time worrying about the what-ifs?
I feel horrible for pressuring him into this and then making a big mess out of it all.
I've only told my mother and my priest because I don't want others to know this- it's personal.
I'd appreciate any advice or input on the situation. (link)
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Dear Lucky Girl,
I'm calling you Lucky because you dont know how lucky you are to find someone you love at such a young age. If you are truely happy with this person and that you seriously want to spend the rest of your life with him, and that you cant imagine it with anyone else, then you've made the right choice. Your mom may have gone through tough times, but that doesnt mean you will. You both lead seperate lives, made different mistakes and maybe she just hasnt learned from them. You on the other hand are lucky, and believe it because you are. Your dad is just concerned for you, but really, if you love this guy that you're with, then really, you arent missing out on anything because everything is right in front of you. Marriage is a big step, only take it if you really think and know that your ready for it. Because if you only think that you're ready, you may end up like your mom.
But really, I dont think that you're destined to be like her. I really dont.
Let me know how things turn out. Good luck and happy days.
Sincerly,
Lisa xox
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Rating: 4
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Thank you. You are right- I'm a very lucky girl. Thanks for helping me realize that!
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