Member Since: September 22, 2006
Answers: 205
Last Update: February 1, 2007
Visitors: 16654
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i have a guy friend that likes me, but i don't like him. I really have no idea what to do about it either. He constantly hugs me, puts his arm around me, touches my waist, etc. and i really want him to stop! I always avoid it or shrug it off, and i've asked him to stop a few times, but he hasn't.
Also, his best friend is also one of my good friends. He and i hug a lot and we flirt, but we don't like each other.(everyone thinks he likes me, but i highly doubt it) He's such a good friend of mine, but i think it hurts his friend's feelings when he sees us hanging out.
I really want to avoid hurting anyone, but it looks like theres no other way. I found a balance, but with the guy who likes me constantly hitting on me...it sorta doesn't work.
I need suggestions!!! (link)
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Just an FYI from a guy: there are a lot of guys that are friends with women, but would jump at the chance to be something more. I myself avoid this like the plague with my female friends, but many guys do not. There isn't anything worse than this sort of uncomfortable situation IMO. As a general rule, guys dont hang out with women unless there is some attraction, especially if they are young. This fades as men get older, but still...
Don't assume his best friend isn't attracted to you either. Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. If you flirt just for fun, that doesnt mean he does - he may (or may not) be attracted to you, and he might be flirting to see how you react. Plus even YOU say that "everyone thinks he likes me" lol...I'd be careful here if I was you. Dont convince yourself that he doesn't, he might. I'd talk to him straight-up. A lot of women have thought the same thing only to find out later that a guy actually DID like them, and was wanting to hang out with them for a reason.
Whatever you do, don't flirt with either guy unless you'd be willing to go beyond being 'friends'. Otherwise, you'll give them the wrong impression. If you just want to be friends, then don't flirt. A lot of women like to flirt with 'guy friends' and yet expect the guys to know that she isn't interested. Its ok if their gay, lots of my female friends do that, but in that situation its safe, there is no chance of confusion over feelings. Guys see flirting as a sign of interest for the most part, as in "I like you, lets get together". Most guys dont see flirting as fun, or as a non-serious game. All it does is frustrate the guys because they feel attracted to the woman, and the woman flirts even though she isn't interested. WTF? There is nothing worse to a guy than a woman who flirts, who taunts you, and you like her - yet you KNOW she sees you as only a friend. Its like a game they cannot possibly win, why play? Now I know you didn't say you flirted with Guy #1, but don't (if you have), it will make it worse if you want him to keep his hands off you.
Irregardless, if the first friend won't back off, you'll probably have to be blunt. If he still wont stop, break off the friendship. You might have to go beyond just saying 'stop' and actually discussing this with him, and tell him how you feel. Just saying 'stop' alone, with no discussion, might very well be too little to get through his thick head.
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Rating: 5
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this helped a lot. I'm pretty sure guy #2 doesn't like me, since he told me he likes my friend (i dunno if he still does, however). But i'll keep the possibility open if it'd be best.
but yeah, that was definatley the most useful advice. If you have any more advice that might help, please let me know!!! Thanks a lot!!!
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