Member Since: September 22, 2006
Answers: 205
Last Update: February 1, 2007
Visitors: 16657
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Female/sophomore in highschool
Guys just don't see me in "that way"
I'm overweight and I feel ugly all the time
It's really bringing down my confidence.
I try to brush it off, but it still hurts.
What can I do to give my confidence a boost?
Sincerely, ME. (link)
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The hard thing here is that often, the way we see ourselves is directly affected by how others see us. Many will tell you "just be yourself", "dont listen to what others say", etc etc. Bad thing is, though, that others will STILL do and say the same things they do and say now. IMO its easier to take on the weight issue and lose weight, than it is to convince yourself to ignore what others say and think, and to convince yourself that your weight isn't a problem. 10 years from now, do you want to be alone because of your weight, yet think to yourself that it doesnt matter because you have spent years telling yourself just that? I know people like this, and its a sad thing...they spend a lot of time and energy convincing themselves that the weight is ok, and they get to the point where it seriously hurts their health as well.
I could tell you those things, tell you that your fine the way you are, but my honest fear would be that you would try to be confident for a while, try to be optimistic, only to have your hopes dashed when someone says one of the typical comments that get said, or some guy you like treats you badly because of your weight. Then, you would have even less faith in being self-confident, and might feel worse than before. I'm NOT saying that you arent a good person on the inside, dont misunderstand me, but as long as you have the weight, you will be treated accordingly. Its just the truth of the matter.
So instead, I'll tell you straight-up, that being happy with yourself isn't likely going to be enough alone. By itself, you will remain somewhat unhappy that guys look at you in the way they do, because of your weight. I'd recommend finding a daily exercise you can do easily and enjoy; bicycling is a good one, swimming is awesome (burns a lot of calories, is good if you can find one inside that is year-round and go early before others show up if you are shy), even walking.
Honestly, if your weight is causing you problems now, it most likely always will. I dont want to do you, or anyone else, the disservice of telling you that it doesnt matter, because it does. Parents are bad about this, they tell you things that arent quite true because they dont want to hurt your feelings...but the world isn't all hugs and kisses, it can be a nasty place. And I know you might feel somewhat angry that you would have to change yourself in order to be treated how you would like...but, thats the truth of the matter, unfortunately.
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Rating: 5
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Thanks. I really like how straight forward you were.
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