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Hi, I'm going into 10th grade 16/m- and school hasn't even started yet...
Well.. the harrassment has been going on since 4th grade...
Basically all the popular people and the majority of my class think that I'm a fag (like gay).. but I'm not.. I have a girlfriend of 6 months.. and we're really happy together...
I don't even act gay at all.. everyone just thinks I am.. and I think it's because most of my friends are girls.. but I don't understand why that would make me gay- because wouldn't that mean that I like hanging out with girls because they are nice to me??
I just feel like no one cares about me and everyone is making fun of me
Another thing.. I am one of the smartest people in the class (4.0 average).. and I always do good on tests.. do people make fun of me because they are jealous that I get good grades and they don't.. I mean I don't go around bragging about my grades.. people ask me what I got.. and I just tell them in a modest way...
I don't understand why everyone thinks I'm a homo.. when I'm not...
oh.. and on myspace- I put up a picture that was the one everyone does (upside down peace sign with big sunglasses).. so then one of the people who makes fun of me posts a comment about it saying "wow ur a homo" so i posted a comment back saying "i was making fun of myspace.. lol".. so then he posts regular comments saying stuff like "i wasn't kidding about the pic comment" and "everyone thinks you're a fag" and "we hate you"...
So that just made me think of how much my class despises me- and I don't even say anything mean to them.. I try being nice.. but they just aren't.. the only ones who actually care about me are my close friends.. and that's only like 10 people max. outta the 250-300 in my class...
Am I just worried about nothing?
Am I really that much of a loser?
Please don't say "go talk to a counselor" because I tried that in middle school and the counselor was really stupid about it
Please help!
sorry this was so long (link)
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Unfortunately, I know exactly what you've been through. I got lucky though: we moved to another state, where I met tons of new friends and no one calls me "gay" anymore.
I went 3 years taking all of that crap you're talking about. I'm a junior, by the way. You have so many choices in how to deal with these immature, insecure, rude, disrespectful people.
But first, let me assure you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Don't give in to what they say. Don't question what they say. If they call you gay, don't start wondering if you are because you and I both know you're not. Think about your situation like this. If you were in a grocery store and a group of people came up to you and began to insult you, what would you think? You would probably think that they were just insignificant, careless people. That's what they are. It's kind of a mystery to me why such hatred is accepted at school, but never in public or at work.
Anyways, here are your choices.
1) Avoid them. If you know they go down a certain hall or eat lunch at a certain table, do not pass them. Block them on myspace, xanga, AIM, etc.
2) Like someone else said, just roll your eyes or sigh when you pass them (it will possibly make you seem mature. It might just add to their sick pleasure, so be careful).
3) Confront them. If they say "You're gay", just say "Well, you're a bitch". NOTE: You should consider the consequences of this. It could do wonders for you, but it could also dig your hole deeper than it already is. If you decide to do this, look for their faults. Are they fat? Acne-infested? Stupid? Ugly? Bring that to their attention.
In my own experiences, #1 helped, #2 helped temporarily, and #3 was just fun. I thought of it as a game. When they would make fun of me, I got upset at first, but then I didn't get upset. I just did what I would do to my friends: make fun of them back (you know how friends say stuff like "you're mean" and then you'd say "well you're ugly" and just laugh about it? That's what I mean. I'd treat the situation like that)
I will most definitely pray for you. It's times like these that really make you feel depressed and make you want to cry. It saddens me to read your question because I relate to it almost exactly and there's nothing I can really do to help. May God bless you. Your luck will turn around. And remember. 3 years seems like a long time, but high school flies by. You won't ever see them again after 3 more years, so why respect their opinion?
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I'm sorry that he's in your class. Try not to sit with him or be in a group project with him. You might want to talk to your teacher after class one day and just say "So-and-so and I aren't really good friends, so could you not pair us as partners or seat us near each other?" She should understand.
Again, I really hope things get better for you. If you ever need to talk, my sn is xilikeporkx.
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Rating: 5
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thanks a lot.. your suggestions are really going to help.. but since school started.. i found out that i have the guy from myspace in my biology class.. but the teacher is strict about respecting people.. so that's good.
Thanks so much for praying for me.. I've done so myself. but it always takes at least another.. THANKS SO MUCH!!!
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