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Gender: Female
Location: England
Occupation: Student
Age: 18
Member Since: July 23, 2006
Answers: 10
Last Update: April 15, 2007
Visitors: 2215
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ok so i live with my dad, and we r very close. i can talk to him a lot too. but when it comes to the puberty subject, i can't talk 2 u anyone about it. what should i do? i just turned 13 about 1 month ago, and i have arm pit hair, hair "down there", and discharge, but i havn't stated my period yet. 1. this discharge is ruining ALL my underwear, and i'm guessing i should get pantyliners but...... how do i get them with my dad, and how should i bring up the subject? what should i do!?!?!?? p.s. sorry this is so long. plz help me!!!!!!!!!!!1 (link)
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This is really tough, but basically the issue will come up at some point - for example, when your periods start - and one of you will have to come forward and say something. Do you want it to be you or your dad? Both will be embarrassing.
Your dad is probably feeling just as awkward about this as you are, and probably has no idea how to bring up the topic of your body changing. However, I reckon that if you say something - even something small at first - his reaction will be a lot more matter-of-fact than stumbling and red-faced. He's an adult after all. If you feel like shaving your armpits sometime soon, why not try asking him first if you can have your own razor? Tell him it's because you want to start shaving your legs, perhaps because all your friends are doing it? This avoids you having to talk about embarrassing body parts or blatant references to puberty, but still puts the idea into his head that you're starting to change physically. (My dad was weird about me shaving my legs, so don't be put off if yours is too at first.) Once you have a razor you can shave your armpits too, and over time your dad will probably put two and two together and you won't even have to talk about it with him.
Do you have your own allowance? If so, there's no reason why you can't pick up pantyliners/pads/razors and, one day, sanitary towels. If you're worried about it being incredibly embarrassing, don't! It's so easy and shop-workers are usually way too bored to even notice what you're buying. If you don't have an allowance, maybe you could ask for one, now that you're thirteen? It wouldn't need to be much; pantyliners aren't expensive.
About pantyliners and discharge: sorry to be graphic, but most girls/women would agree that discharge will often leave a mark on your underwear, even after washing. It sounds gross, but it's something most of us get and unless you've got it really heavily you don't need to worry. It just takes time to get used to it.
You're not alone here - even if you live with your mum, talking about this stuff can seem impossible. You could try writing everything in a letter to your dad and leaving it somewhere for him? Or even writing a letter addressed to someone else - for example a friend - and leave it lying somewhere in the house where your dad'll find it. He might not actually bring it up (as the letter wasn't addressed to him and so he shouldn't have read it) but he might start buying you the things you need.
Alternatively, you can actually get a free sample pack of pads and pantyliners from the Bodyform site (Bodyform's a company that makes female hygiene products in case you don't know). Just go here and fill in the form:
http://www.bodyform.co.uk/Pages/Products/OrderSamples.aspx?id=1459
Of course, you can't just keep ordering free samples forever! But maybe you can have these as a backup in case your periods start before you've been able to talk to your dad about buying pads.
Best of luck with this, it sucks that you've only got your dad to talk to but you've got some options and I'd place money on your dad reacting really well. Plus, whatever embarrassment you feel will disappear quickly once everything's out in the open. Millions of women have gone before you in having to say that awful word 'period' to a parent, and they've all come out of it fine!
Hope it all works out! xx
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Rating: 5
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thank you sooooooooo much, you really do know what your doing. thx again =)
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