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Q: My husband and I are divorcing over the fact that I wasn't a virgin when we got married, 5 years ago. Back when we were dating, I'd cheated on him and fooled around with another guy. I hated myself for it so I couldn't bring myself to tell him. Now one of my friends told him and he got so mad. I'd tried to explain why I didn't want to bring it up, but he was too hurt to care. We've tried to talk about it several times, but it only made both of us hurt worse. So now we're getting a divorce and we've agreed not to see or speak to each other anymore, which sucks because we know we're still in love with each other. It's just too painful... As if that's not bad enough, I just found out I'm pregnant. What the hell do I do? I don't know if I could contact him even if I wanted too. I'm scared. Please give me words of wisdom!
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Well i think that if he truly loves you that he should be a bit more open minded about talking to you about the situation. You messed up and cheated yes but gettting a divorce after so long doesn't seem fare to both of you. And agreeing not to talk to eachother because of that is a mistake on both your parts. I think that you need not to live up to that end of the bargian especially if you are pregnant. Hurt or not he has a child coming into this world that will be his forever wether he likes it or not. Even if he is to stay away eventually that child will look for him and he will have to answer to it, and so will you. I think that you need to call him and tell him that you admitt to your mistake instead of trying to explain what you did just tell him that you did and that you were wrong. Admitting that you had a fault is better than saying i'm sorry. Sorry does not fix the damage done. That should atleast get you a foot in the door to continue a conversation with him. Then tell him that you will be having a divorce yes but there is somehing that he needs to be aware of before court. Then go ahead and let him now that he is a father. He does have a right to know. From there the conversation will depend on wether or not you allow yourself to get upset over what might be said. Just let him speak his mind and remind him that he is a father and that you can do it alone if you have to but it's not fare to the baby. It doesn't matter anymore what is fare to the two of you.
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Thank you. Your advice really got me thinking and rethinking.
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bio
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I am 22 and a mother of 4. i have experienced almost anything that any one can. So if you have a question than ask. i'll do my best to answer
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Info
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E-mail: Gender: Female Location: Salt Lake City Utah Occupation: Nurse Age: 22 Yahoo: Member Since: July 28, 2006 Answers: 27 Last Update: July 31, 2006 Visitors: 1645
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