I guess you could say I love giving advice -
I'm an older sister, a tutor and a psych freak to boot! I always try to be honest and sincere. My school motto was "do unto others as you wish them to do unto you" and I really take that to heart. Any questions I'm capable of answering (love, relationships, general problems, cultural stuff about Thailand, bicultural issues, etc.), I will answer.
Gender: Female
Location: Bangkok, Thailand
Occupation: Graduate student
Age: 22
Member Since: July 11, 2005
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My best friend, "Chelsea", and I dated briefly a few months back. It ended after a few weeks because I'm a lesbian and out, and she's not out and was afraid to be. Despite everything, I still think about her constantly, and I really care about her alot. I've told her this which resulted in a response of just silence.
Lately, she's said somethings that make me feel as though she might still like me. For example, saying I love you which is out of character for her. But also, when we get around other people or around each other.. she always makes sure that we aren't alone and that she can avoid me if need be.
I'm not sure what to do. I've tried talking to her about it but she wont respond.
Thanks,
Samantha (17) (link)
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First of all, I have to say that your friend Chelsea is, more than anything, confused. At this point, I would guess she doesn't who she is or what she wants. Don't take it personally, but it's not about you - right now, it's all about her. You're out, like you said, and that's great, but she doesn't know where she stands right now, and that's the only thing she's occupied with. One minute she wants something, the next minute, who knows? I think the best thing now, the most productive thing, is to give her space, but tell her you're there to listen and understand and support. It's hard to put your feelings aside, but for the moment, that's what you have to do. There's really nothing you can do to make her talk about it - to force her would be a mistake and could be damaging to your friendship. Give her some time. She'll come around and then, you two can seriously discuss your relationship. Best of luck.
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