about

I like:
- the social sciences, especially history (with interests in all types of areas) & sociology.
- computers -- doing an information systems major.
- reading; right now I'm into the classics and historical non-fiction.
- animals, especially dogs.
- helping people.
- travelling.
- being a repository of useless & trivial info.
- keeping up to date with world events & current affairs.

I hate:
- ignorance.
- fundamentalism.

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advice

Okay so I'm pretty thin; 5'4 and 110 lbs. I really don't like fat, at all on girls. I think girls should be thin and wear a pants size no bigger than a 3 or 5. Five is pushing it.


All my friends are thin and have nice figures as well, like me but I have a few that don't. I mean, they aren't huge but they wear like a 5 in Abercrombie pants. And those of you that shop there know that their sizes run bigger. When I see them in like a bikini (we're always at my house laying out and stuff) I want to throw up.


I don't know why I feel this way and I feel extremely bad sometimes because in my head, I want them to loose weight.


Now, I assure you that I have never said anything along those lines to them and I NEVEERR would, ever. I know I have some sort of problem with weight so I know better than so say something to them.


Does anyone have any ideas on how I can get over this?

(Sorry, a bit long-winded.)

Your line of thinking doesn't sound intentional, and it sounds like you're aware that you have a preoccupation with weight -- I would just put this down to the way you feel. 'Duh', you might say at first, but what I'm getting at here is how you feel isn't necessarily 'unusual', but neither is it 'natural' (I use these terms loosely here).

A lot of girls in Western society have been brought up on the idea, unintentionally or not, that being thin is attractive, and being fat is ugly -- the trend has become 'naturalised' in society. Obviously the trend is changing now (i.e. 'big is beautiful'), and it's a bit of a generalisation, but I don't think it can be denied, all the same. What I'm suggesting here is that being thin = attractive seems natural to you, and Western culture was for a long time pushing this idea also -- thin models are still the most popular, and if you look at Abercrombie's website, http://www.abercrombie.com/ the figures there are all slender, active individuals with sculptured bodies. If you see anybody who seems overweight to you, it makes you go 'eek!', because it goes against what feels 'natural'.

However, the thing is thin = attractive wasn't always the case. Half a century ago, it was sexy to have a voluptuous hourglass figure. In some cultures, it's still the plump women who are the attractive ones.

Okay, so before I get too pretentious and overanalytical ;), to get over this... come to peace with it, and be open-minded. That's all really, yet it might be hard to do. If there's a voice in your head telling you 'they're too FAT!', question it - 'hang on... if there's nothing wrong with their health, what's wrong with being 'fat'?' What is 'fat'? How does your understanding of 'fat' compare to others? Why don't you like it? If you can answer those questions, you might be able to find peace within yourself, at least.

(Also, this is a more academic exercise, but there are the most fascinating accounts of how standards of beauty differed throughout the ages -- best way to develop new outlooks in my opinion, and will probably change what you think is 'natural'. Did you know that women in Tang China were most beautiful when plump? English Renaissance women would deliberately blacken their teeth to show they could afford teeth-rotting sugar? Sounds bizarre, but it used to be 'natural'. Women in some South Pacific cultures were plump to be pretty as it showed that they were wealthy, etc. I love accounts like that -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physical_attractiveness is a bit heavy going, but eye-opening reading.)

Good luck, hey? =)

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(Rating: 5) Thank you so much. Seriously, I was beginning to think that everyone on this site is like all those other people that answered this question. I know that I need to work on this and I will. Thanks for your advice!! :) I'll check out that attractiveness site too
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