Hello People,
My name is Akiko-san. Well, haven't really gone through much "life crisis", but I don't think we need to have one to give advice. I'll try to tell you what I see in my point of view and help you as much as I can. A second pair of eyes is always useful when you're blind to something in front of you.. I'm a serious and boring person, so I apolojize for my lack os sense of humor. (Lost it in the 5th grade.)
I specialize in friendships/relationships (not romantically, mind you, maybe family matters, etc), but I'll do my best to answer any question.
-Akiko-san
Member Since: March 23, 2006
Answers: 6
Last Update: May 13, 2006
Visitors: 3046
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What would you do if one of your close friends was dating a guy she really likes and he tells you that he has feelings for you instead? Would you tell your friend?
I did. I knew it would hurt her but it just wouldnt be right if they continued dating and I knew that while he's with her, he has feelings for me. It wouldnt be fair to her.
But instead of her thanking me for looking out for her, it seems as if she thinks I'm trying to keep them apart, as if Im lying or something.
The guys sister, who is also a close friend of mine as well, doesnt believe me either. Everyone thinks I'm lying, but the thing is, I have proof. Everything he said to me was by text and I didnt delete them yet.
I dont understand them. Im not the type of person who would make things up. I wouldnt try to mess up someones relationship for no reason. But I'm still viewed as the bad person.. and honestly, it really hurts me to know that none of my friends believe me. My friend knows that I'm not lying though because I've read her the text messages.. yet, Im still viewed as wrong. And even still, she continues to date him knowing that the damn guy has feelings for me. I dont know how anyone would settle for a person who has feelings for another person at the same time. Its just stupid..
I really need advice because its really hurting me to know that these girls do not see that Im only trying to be a true friend..
(By the way, the guy, he is a cool guy. We got along well, prior to when he told me he liked me. But I never ever viewed him as someone Id try to get with because I already have a man in my life that I love and who I only want to be with. So I dont want anyone to think that the reason I told her was because Im trying to get with him.. which even she may already think.)
Thank you for any advice.
20/f (link)
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Hello,
All I could say is that sometimes life doesn't go the way you want it to be. Your friend might be too blinded with love to accept your warning. Things like this happens. You did what you had to do as a friend, it's her choice to take heed or ignore it.
If your friends don't beleive you, then I don't think they know you well enough if they were your friends. But you have to see the pros and cons between showing the messages- they might believe you or think more that you're trying to intefere.
Ignore them when they hurt you- you know you are trying to be a good friend and that should enough. If they don't see that then that's their problem- their loss is all I could say. If you think there are more negative traits then positive traits in your friends then distance yourself slowly and try to stay alone for a while until you get new friends. Better to be alone than in bad company.
If you feel hurt try to write it out, talk with someone you trust, use your emotions to do something productive, excersize, etc. Don't keep it in, its not healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Akiko-san
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